Why Can’t I Sleep?

Why can’t I smile?
Why can’t I sleep?
I just need to shower and need rest, but I can’t.
It’s like a more than difficult thing to do.
So many things are on my mind right now.
I can’t even figure out which one matters first.
I just know I love God
and oh – how I keep sinning.
I am sick.
Repulsive
and of dirt.
But I don’t want to give up.
I know I can live right if I just try.
I just feel like I have no reason to fight,
or nothing to stand up for.
Yet I have so much to fight for,
and how I must,
want,
and love
to stand up for Jesus!
Why can’t I smile?
Why can’t I sleep?

4-5-91 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)