Tag: shame

I Am Afraid To Tell ____ .

On By gaillovesgodIn 1994Leave a comment

I am afraid to tell friends or others
About things that I’m ashamed of or regret.
I do understand that it’s the past, and that my friends love me,
But telling them things they couldn’t get past or comprehend
Can eventually cause a whole new struggle for me.
If I am over it, can deal with it, talk about it, write about it,
Or have anything to do with it myself,
Or when I have to with others,
I am quite capable of dealing with it,
Or living with it for the rest of my life,
Alone and mentally healthy.
My scary secrets, or simple regrets,
Need to go with me to my grave,
Or to the heart of a true friend.
Love life and let it be, it lets you be.

3-10-1994 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Creative Writing Class Spring 1994,
Taught by E.P.

I Never Knew Her

On By gaillovesgodIn 1993, UncategorizedLeave a comment

No one ever knew her like I did,
But I never knew her at all.
She was something so easy to read,
Yet so hard to figure at all.

What was it that I saw in her?
I’m not quite sure of that reason.
But my love for her kept living,
As the seeds through every season.

We’ve all a mark or two in past
That shame us of our being.
But what we do to carry on
Is the point we should be seeing.

My love for her was all she had,
And yet I let her down.
She had no other choice
Than to leave without a sound.

Where she’s going and what she’s doing,
I think I’ll never know.
For though I really loved her so,
I knew nothing of the woman you know.

11-29-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Getting to know one’s self
is like never knowing yourself at all

I Want/But

On By gaillovesgodIn 1990Leave a comment

I want to love someone who’ll be there for me,
But I’m scared to trust a soul.
I want to give my heart away to someone special,
But I’m afraid of losing control.
I want to share tears of pain,
But I’m too ashamed to even cry.
I really want to love someone,
But I’m much too scared to try.
I want to be the one they’ll trust,
But I’m too tired of lies.
I want to hold them when they’re down,
But I’m too aware of what dies.
If only I could find a way
To believe again in love,
I could experience laughter,
And pleasure could never be enough.

4-4-1990
Written by Gail Brookshire
God is my hero!

In the Grip of Sin

On By gaillovesgodIn 19983 Comments

Sin… it is so complicated and suffocating.
Once you’ve stepped into it,
It’s hard not to sink from the weight of its heaviness.
The burden of guilt and shame
Can follow like a shadow in the night.
In a moment of sin, I walked myself into the dark.
I submerged myself in danger.
As I sank so fast and so deep, my soul cried out for help.
Too distracted to hear a call from within,
I held onto the hand of sin.
Together we kept me from escaping,
Pretending things were getting better,
And at times believing nothing was wrong.
In a moment of compassion
The Maker of my soul charged forth and spoke.
With His hand reaching to pull me out,
He rescued me from the bottomless pit.
Even as I fought to stay behind with my friend sin,
My God knew where my heart really was.
Just before sin pulled me under God said,
“That’s enough. Let her go!”
He took me in His loving arms and reminded me of this.
“It is when you disobey me that you need me most.
Only I know the power sin can hold on you.”

11-30-98 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

That Bus

On By gaillovesgodIn 2001Leave a comment

That bus… I lost all my innocence on that bus.
If only I had known where that bus was going.
But God and I both know where it was going.
I just didn’t realize what I was allowing myself to get into.
Sad fact is, I allowed myself to get into it.
How fast I ran back.
How sad I came back.
How nasty I crawled back.
And despite how far I ran
and how much I fled from my guilt,
the sin and shame
was all the same,
and despite the crowd
only I am to blame.
That bus… if only it were going back.
But I wouldn’t step near that bus if it were.
God help me and the girl on that bus.

7-2-01 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

Lost Testimony

On By gaillovesgodIn 2015, Uncategorized1 Comment

Years of ministry, marriage, and testimony
gone in a heated moment.
Years of discipline and faithfulness
completely stolen.
Stolen from a loving Savior
who will forgive even this transgressor,
yet it will be thrown in His face
by the aggressor.
Oh moments of guilt and shame
do occasion,
but they are always trumped
by persistent temptation.
How hard for those
who drew from their strength
to witness the weakness,
near or at length.
Yet how devastating
for a Savior who died
to now live and wait
for those who have defied.

7-16-15 written by Gail Brookshire

Sucker Punched by Life

On By gaillovesgodIn 2015, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Her spirit lay crushed on top of those steps
along with her very weakened legs.
Her struggle to find anything to hold
was as hard as it was to breathe in such cold.
Trauma and pain became very good friends
reducing her to such hopeless ends.
God sent two soldiers to hold her up.
They were so kind while being so tough.
Inside, they helped her to reach her goal.
The whole ordeal had taken its toll.
In anguish she sobbed. In shame she cried.
Her words of resignation she could not hide.
How broken she is and defeated as well
by the very knees that weakened and fell.

2015 written by Gail Brookshire
For my mom (Brenda King) who fell today.
She is so broken! 😦 Jesus, please help her. Amen ❤
PS…. It has now been 2 years since this happened, and my mom passed the same year. This was such an incredibly horrible day for her. She had fallen up the steps and was stuck in a position to where my stepdad and I could not help her up. She had to lay like that till the emergency workers got her up and inside. She never wanted to go out anymore after this day, which helped her health deteriorate so much faster. I hated it for her then, and I still hate it for her now. Life shouldn’t have to be so humiliating.