Afraid, Yet I Do

Afraid to believe and yet I do.
I am so scared to believe in love, life, and people.
Yet I believe in the very God who made all three.
Afraid to trust and yet I do.
I am afraid to trust in anyone or anything,
Yet I trust in this God I cannot see.
I trust and love and believe
In someone I’ve never met.
Someone I’ve never held.
And yet I have give Him my life.
I make decisions according to His pleasure.
I strive to obey Him.
And when I wrong Him,
I am heartbroken and regret
Because I am saddened to know I grieve Him.
Trust, love, believe.
I am afraid of them all,
And yet I believe, love, and trust the very meaning of them all…

1-14-2004 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Winds Rage On

Terrified! Terrified!
Within I try to hide.
Winds rage on and on.
Object of fear… be gone.
Scared… so scared.
I am so afraid and unaware.
You cry. You try.
You cannot ask why.
The weight of hate,
It can suffocate…
All that I feel
And protect with steel.
Stout. Stout.
I must step out.
The falling air
Will bring despair.
Get back. Step back.
Prepare for attack.
This is your friend.
This is the end.

1-23-1999 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Life Was Laying On The Floor

Life was laying on the floor.
Would mine be anymore?
I didn’t know… no one knew,
But I couldn’t even move.
All I could do was breathe.
So afraid I was dying, about to leave.
I was so scared, so stuck.
Was my life running out of luck?

Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: my first time hyperventilating years ago.
I’m so thankful for God seeing me through those times.
Thank you, C.S.

Fear Keeps

Can’t you stay awake?
I need you.
I know you’re tired,
But I am too.
I’m just so scared.
If you give me a minute,
I’d try to fall asleep.
I really meant it.
Please, don’t leave me.
It’ll get me.
I don’t want to face it.
Make it let me be.
I just want to rest
And get some sleep.
I don’t want to sit up all night
With nothing to do but weep.
Please give me comfort.
Help my heart.
I know he loves me,
But he’s tearing me apart.
Let’s just talk and then
You can see me to sleep.
I would let you go to sleep,
But fear only keeps.

4-11-1992 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: I use to be horrified of the night, the dark, and going to sleep.
Praise Jesus for setting me free! That went well into my early 20s.

Fear or Faith

O.K. So I’m writing. Big Deal.
I happen to be scared.
The big day is coming. It’s on its way.
And I have to make sure I’m there.
I know it’s all a frightening thing,
But I need to go ahead and face it.
There’s only one way to survive it.
God’s hand. Nothing can ever replace it.
I don’t know what I want to say.
I only know I’m scared.
And though I want to talk about it,
I’d rather just have a hug to share.

11-23-1990 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. It’s amazing how God continues to bring up my old poetry at times that are so similar to things I am going through or talking about now. At the same time. praise His Holy name, many things are so different. But if you do not pay attention to the year I wrote them, you could easily think there is something to worry about. I see why different friends address concerns about things they are reading. Please don’t worry. God has been so good to me. He has brought me through many dark pits, and I know I struggle with that darkness at times, but I am NO WHERE NEAR where I used to be. Thank you for caring about me.
God is my hero!! And He loves you too! ❤

Anxiety Fears

Afraid of Fear.
Afraid of Life.
Afraid of Confrontation.
Afraid of Strife.
Afraid of Loneliness.
Afraid of Crowds.
Afraid of Silence.
Afraid of Being Loud.
Afraid of Self.
Afraid of Others.
Afraid of Someone.
Afraid of Another.
Afraid of Weakness.
Afraid of Strength.
Afraid of Brevity.
Afraid of Length.
Afraid of Dying.
Afraid of Surviving.
Afraid of Relapsing.
Afraid of Reviving.
Afraid of Life.
Afraid of Fear.
Afraid of Making it
One more year.

6-2-15 Tuesday written by Gail Brookshire
What my anxiety can be like.