Unlocking My World

Locked in a world
That shuts You out…
Tries to scare me
And make me doubt.
I get so agitated
Or simply depressed.
I start to fear
You will love me less.
Yet You assure me
That’s just more lies.
Your love for me
NEVER DIES.
Holding the key,
You unlock my world,
And boldly proclaim,
“This is MY girl!”

1.21.2019 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

My Silent Rage

You think so much of me.
You think me to be nice.
You do not know the rage I carry,
And how I pay the price.
But that has got to stop right now,
As I finally come of age.
Thirty years too late I stand,
I storm throughout the rage.
The pain, the lies, the deception and games.
I have been the fool.
But I am not willing to take that blame.
I’m breaking the number one rule.
Silence is not my friend
When it allows you to crush my spirit.
You can try to reason why it is,
But I refuse to even hear it.
You see me on the ground crawling for help,
My soul has been wrung out.
But Christ my Savior has lifted me,
And freed me of guilt and doubt.
The evil are the evil,
And have no other name.
Regardless of what is said,
I will not carry their shame.
Your help is not sincere.
Your deeds are not unseen.
I suggest you give your please to Christ
Before the final scene.

7-26-2000 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

At 9 Years Old

At 9 years old, I was placed into a children’s home by my parents.
They were quick to trick me and my brothers into staying the night,
Not letting us know it would be for months.
They first took us on a joyride (they said),
And then asked us if we’d like to see a neat place to play.
Once there, then they asked us if we’d like to meet some kids there.
When we went inside, we were introduced to these people,
Who we didn’t know were going to be our house parents,
And they asked us if we would like to spend the night.
Once our parents were gone, around dark,
We were then instructed to go to our rooms,
Cut off the lights, and go to sleep.
We weren’t allowed to leave the light on or have the door cracked.
I was so confused.
My parents had taken me out of a normal home environment,
From my brothers and one sister,
And placed me into the hands of strangers,
Who made me sleep alone, cut off the lights, and go to bed early.
I cried so hard, trying to figure out why my parents left me,
When were they coming back,
Wishing they would hurry,
But most of all, why did they lie to me?
Where were my brothers and sister?

11-9-1992
Written by Gail Brookshire

NO SALE!

If I have to write all night, I will!
I refuse to give into these thoughts!
I don’t know why I ever entertained them before.
It’s obvious how I was always bought.
When Satan sold me those lies,
I believed every one.
“You won’t be hurting anyone.
You’re just having fun.”
But those were such lies.
I was hurting me and my lover.
Sex cannot keep you from hell.
God will serve no other!
Exodus tells us how abominable we are
to commit such sin.
There is no getting away with it
when God brings our end!
Protect me, Lord, and know my thoughts.
I will not be sold again.
For by Christ’s blood I have been bought.

5-15-03 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)
Unfortunately this was a part of my testimony, and for the ones who read it and tell me it helps them to know they are not alone, and not give up, I post this… even though it is extremely hard to share. I have bought into the lie that my testimony is “inappropriate” for too long. My testimony is what God allowed. This poem is me fighting during very difficult times that I now have such shame for because the love of God saved me. The Holy Spirit changed my way of thinking. Even if His encouraging me to testify helps just one… praise His Holy and Cleansing name! I was blessed to glean from the testimonies of others who found it just as hard to share something they were so ashamed of. Shame is good in its spiritual place! There is a righteous shame!