Intimacy… It’s a Godly Thing

Finally… I have learned why God has placed such value on purity,
And such strong warning on fornication…
At least that’s what I always say right after I have allowed myself to be hurt again.
God shows me again and again how a person cannot possibly love me
Unless they make me a part of their life forever,
Vow to all their loved ones and mine… dedication,
And give to me (not just promise) a lifetime commitment
Before they even lay a hand on me.
That is the only way to awaken the next morning with no guilt,
No shame, and no fear of my love leaving the next day.

It does not mean there will be no fighting, no arguing,
No totally frustrating and “I hate you and never want to see you again” moments.
It just means that if you have these moments,
You have a true commitment to try as hard as you can
To make it last, work it out, and support one another.
You don’t talk about who has hurt who,
Try to figure a way out,
Or feel cheap for giving yourself so intimately.
You know the person beside you will still be home tonight to lay down beside you,
And hopefully make amends of whatever trouble there may be,
And if not, you know they will still be there.

Intimacy is a treasure between two people who know
Their lovemaking has nothing to do with why they are together,
Why they stick together,
And pledge their friendship and marriage.
It is something they know they honor their God with,
And create life in their children.
It is something that could never be used as a weapon,
And never cheapened to a short event of life,
To only be associated with pain and heartache.
It is not something to compare from one lover to another,
And is not something to steal from people you love.
I am not innocent in my pledge to love being only for the married.
I am not innocent of honoring others in their right to be loved forever,
But I can say that I have never found pleasure in exchanging pleasure for pain.

The more I hurt myself, the more God shows me truth.
Patience is more of a virtue than even I can understand.
And even if I never find a man who will follow through
With his word of love…
His pledge of marital wishes…
And be the first man in my life to give God His just deserves
In marrying a woman God honored them with…
Before defiling her, and make leaving such a justifiable excuse.
I will always have the amazement of God’s love…
The love of a man who has never touched me anywhere but my heart…
Who has asked nothing of me, except to love Him, myself, and people,
And has taken nothing from me, but all the pain and hurt that has been given me,
As well as my place in hell, by the grace of His merciful and forgiving heart.

Intimacy… it’s a love of purity and commitment…
A pledge to stick together forever…no matter what…
Even if it means from time to time
You have to endure the unpleasant…
And be a little forgiving…
Maybe even continuously forgiving.
Intimacy… it’s a Godly thing.

5-27-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Cowboy Lance

Cowboy Lance was a good ole boy.
He took after his grandpappy and uncles when it came to being a man.
He got his manners from the women folk,
And you know his love for God did too.
His maw sure did love him from the day he was born.
He was the only baby I ever seen born on a horse,
With a gun in each hand.
If you ever run into him, you’d better be nice.
Cause he’ll zip right through ya.
But don’t you worry gals.
He’s still a heartbreaker.
Why he had a showdown with Billy the Kid himself,
On a’count Cowboy Lance stole his favorite gal.
Even married her.
But she died of smallpox.
The secret to Cowboy Lance’s heart is not a hard thing to find,
But he sure does like a whole lot of them,
So be sure to get a whole lot… Of sweet Roses!
So be sure to look for Cowboy Lance
Riding on his famous white horse.
His horse’s name is… Polliwog.
The End.

6-17-1996 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire
(Cowboy Lance’s Mom)
Inspiration: my son use to sit in the computer lab where I worked.
My boss loved teaching him how to use graphics (when GIFs just came out).
He and I wrote this together when he was 8 years old.

Leaving 1993, Heading Into 1994

As I’ve come to the last of 1993 poetry and going into 1994, I’m relieved to be getting away from what was so dark. Yes, unfortunately there are still more as I’ve been looking ahead, but not only do they lessen with how many, they also begin to be me falling more and more in love with Christ, my Lord and Savior, the Love of my Life! ❤ I am so excited and ready for those! It felt good just to smile over looking at them! ❤
Thank you so much for all of your comments as I have been getting the older ones up. God has used you to help me learn from them yet again, to grow even more, and to be comforted by friends all over the world. I had literally grown so afraid of them through the years. I came so close to tearing them up or deleting as I had posted. How grateful I am that He led me to an opportunity to tear up several of them in 2004. Between 1989 and 2000 I wrote at least 300 a year, but as I look at the numbers under the Categories, I realize I tore up hundreds, but trust me… THAT was a good thing. That is a part of my testimony too!

God does amazing things! The most amazing one being to love us… unconditionally… nonstop… no matter what! He can get you through the darkest times, and ease the deepest pains. I know He has been my God Through All of It. ❤ (Thank you for introducing me to this song, brother Stu!)
God is my hero! He loves me! And He loves you! I know it may seem so hard, and there may be things that no one else but God can understand with what you are going through… but He CAN get you through it because He DOES understand!
I am praying for each of you!

Confidant

If you ever come to learn
All the games I played in turn.
I will come to lose the prize,
A friendship in your lawful disguise.
Making you my confidant,
Qualified you as my friend.
Should have known my age
Would be the cause to turn this page.

10-2-1989
Written by Gail Brookshire

Only God!

Only God can save me now.
Only God can forgive me.
Only God can show mercy,
And allow Gail to live.
Only God can love my Jesus
They way He should be loved.
Only Jesus can be true to God,
And can let God be enough.
Only God, only God.
That’s all I’ve got.
You cannot help me.
Only God can, only God.

5-26-1998 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
There are times when only God can be there.

Experiencing and Enjoying Campus Life

God, I want to thank you for the privilege of going to college.
Here at Montreat I’m not just attending college, I’m experiencing college.
I am enjoying college.
I enjoyed A-B Tech as well and I thank you for my degree.
Yet that was more of an adult education based atmosphere.
It was mostly adults going back to school to make better money for their families they were already raising on salaries that were not making it.
There was no time for socializing really.
There were no dorms to stay in.
No one would ever have time to stay away from home or work long enough.
They were lucky to find time to show up for classes on the days they did.
Montreat has been a struggle for me at times because of that difference,
But the overall Christian fellowship has given me more of an education than I could have imagined.
Spending time on campus has really made things easier.
My dorm room has been a true blessing.
When I know I need to study, but being here so early is the challenge, it makes the biggest difference to kiss my son goodnight, leave him with my parents, drive on out and study, go to bed, get up, and walk to class.
The drive alone would have been 2 hours sleep lost.

When I time between classes, I am blessed to have a personal space to study alone.
And it’s not just a classroom. It is “my” room.
Life on campus is just like they portray it on television.
I would have never thought I would be doing this.
Though there are a fair share of challenges involved, campus life is so fun.
So many lives have “left home” to pour their hearts on their dreams.
Some are just searching for who they are.
And many are just following the rules of life.
So many faces, dreams, backgrounds, futures, and wonderfully unique personalities.
And the most wonderful thing about Montreat for me is that Christ is so in the center of the school, the classes, classwork, students, and almost everything.
I thank You, God, for such a wonderful blessing.
You are truly amazing.
I am so glad you had led me here.
And I am so glad I followed you.
I just pray that I serve you in what way
You have planned for me to serve you through this blessing.
Praise You for who You are. Praise You for Your love.
Jesus, I serve with love and obedience.

12-11-98 Friday
written by Gail Brookshire

Twenty Two Days Ago

Twenty two days ago, I asked God to help me to know His will for my life,
And to help me to fulfill it.
No matter how much it would hurt, I wanted to obey my God and trust Him.
I prayed not to allow me to hurt anyone if it were avoidable,
But that no matter what, fear or no fear, pain or no pain, to help me to do His will.

Twenty two days ago, I was so in love, and so was the man who wanted to marry me.
He loved me so much He would have laid down His life for me.
Now today, he couldn’t care less if I were alive.
He no longer wants anything to do with me.
I am the last thing he wants to think about.
In twenty two days, the love even he vowed forever,
And believed himself would never die… is gone.
The Lord’s will was done in our lives.

Twenty two days ago, I was torn between man and God
Because I was afraid I had put man above God.
I wasn’t sure if it was God I needed to trust by trusting the man I love,
Or if it was God I needed to trust by walking away from a man
Whom God did not have planned for my life.
After seeking Godly counsel, praying, and reading the word of God,
The Lord lead me to leave the relationship long enough to think.
If I were to be with this man, he would wait and trust God
To give me the time and peace I needed.
If I were not to be with him, he would be too hurt
And not want the relationship any longer.
It was the way God told me to trust Him in knowing if we were right together.
I even prayed that I would not go back after the relationship if I walked away.
But God said, “It won’t have to be you. If you are obedient enough to walk away on your own, I will be your strength and protect you as you wait. This will be my way of showing you openly just how much he loves you. You won’t have to question any more.”

Twenty two days ago, I hurt the man I love.
I walked away in obedience to my Lord.
I trusted that the man who seemed to be my friend, even when we love each other,
But found that his love was not as strong as even he believed it to be.
He threw away all contact and gave up the years of love.
After only days of sinning against God together and asking for forgiveness of our sins,
Guidance on how to grow stronger, and for God to be our strength forevermore.

Twenty two days ago, this man put himself above God.
His unforgiving heart spoke on behalf of my Lord.
My Lord protected us a from a relationship that didn’t even have enough love to forgive,
A relationship that had such little faith, that it only took days to get over trying again.
Oh we of little faith, how much we grieve our Lord.

Twenty two days ago, the Lord began to renew my strength.
He heard the cry of a child to be obedient and trust in His will.
He saw the servant knelt in faith determined to fight the good fight,
Even if it meant going down while standing ground.
Pain or no pain, the warrior was ready for combat.
God placed His shield upon the solder and said, “My child, follow me.”
Led by the hand of God, the warrior survived the battlegrounds of a hell on earth.
And the child was declared obedient.
God knows the hurt and pain, of every injury that wounded the obedient,
And has carefully seen to her healing.
What peace and comfort He sends to strengthen her.
The Holy Spirit enflames the love of Christ within her heart,
Allowing the warmth to be her assurance.
The Lord will reward those who walk in the Lord.
Her obedience will not be overlooked.

Twenty two days ago, God claimed His child, protected His servant,
And watched His warrior serve in obedience.
The Lord’s will was sought and the Lord’s will was done.
I take joy and confidence in knowing I did just that.
I walked in obedience and trusted my God.
I walked away from a man that God did not have planned for my life.
Thank You, God, for allowing me to come to You in prayer,
For allowing me to seek Your presence.
I praise You for leading me to follow Your will.
You do know what is best for me.
I am grateful that I can trust You and did.
Thank You for Your Holy comfort,
And for allowing the love of Your Son to be first in my life.
He did lay down His life for me.
Thank You, God, for allowing me to be obedient
And seeking Your will twenty two days ago.
I pray that I will be obedient and seek Your will for all of my days.
I love You.
PRAISE YOU – AMEN!!

9-26-98 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. This was written 20 years ago, and I am still just as grateful to my Lord! ❤