People Are Scary

People are so scary.
They hurt you, betray you,
And change your life forever.
Whether good or bad.
They put on such faces.
A smile can hide a killer.
A wink can hide deception.
What does it really mean
To trust someone
When we really never know anyone?
It is so scary to trust,
To even know people.
They can be so evil.
And even when they are good,
They can come with expectations
That I will not be mean or evil,
And that I cannot guarantee.
That is even scarier.
I am a person.
People are so scary.

10-30-2000 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

My Silent Rage

You think so much of me.
You think me to be nice.
You do not know the rage I carry,
And how I pay the price.
But that has got to stop right now,
As I finally come of age.
Thirty years too late I stand,
I storm throughout the rage.
The pain, the lies, the deception and games.
I have been the fool.
But I am not willing to take that blame.
I’m breaking the number one rule.
Silence is not my friend
When it allows you to crush my spirit.
You can try to reason why it is,
But I refuse to even hear it.
You see me on the ground crawling for help,
My soul has been wrung out.
But Christ my Savior has lifted me,
And freed me of guilt and doubt.
The evil are the evil,
And have no other name.
Regardless of what is said,
I will not carry their shame.
Your help is not sincere.
Your deeds are not unseen.
I suggest you give your please to Christ
Before the final scene.

7-26-2000 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Essence of Rebellion

Your vile deception, your tangled blood,
Your demonic web defies my love.
Deny the skin, disgust my flesh.
Your devious betrayal tortures my chest.
Hatred in beauty, pain in romance,
The depth of your death is lanced.
For whatever injustice your evil liars escape,
A conceited traitor will be faithfully two-faced.
The essence of rebellion is pathetic,
But slain at the heart, I love it.

4-26-1994 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Creative Writing Class, Spring 1994
Taught by E.P.

Oh Silly Me

You don’t want me.
You used to be in love with me,
But you no longer are.

You said you cared forever
And would never be
Too far.

But where are you now
When I need to be
In your arms?

Giving away our love
By impressing with
Your charms.

Oh, silly me
For loving you
Knowing you never would.

I can’t believe
I love you
When I never thought I could.

7-5-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

I Could Care Less

You asked me what I mean by this expression.
It simply means I hurt too much to talk about it.
Or sometimes it means I’m protecting myself from being used by sacred feelings.
And sometimes it means that I would rather keep the world out.
A refusal to sharing.
A reposal to caring.
It means that my heart is tired of dealing with it.
That my soul is worn out.
That I’m actually weaker when I’m using this as a front to reprove how strong I am.
It’s a rebellion to those who try to invade…
And maybe encounter the cross overs of burial grounds already occupied.
It’s motivation.
A reason to look you in the eye and protest with strong defense,
And overwhelm you with deception.
Surely to turn you away.
Quietly or destructively.
However you choose.
When it comes to any topic, subject, or matter
Pertaining to the conversation or expression involved,
When I use this classic cliche,
I simply mean it as I do now on what you think,
I could care less.

9-9-1990 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Challenged by TW to explain what I meant when I used this expression so much when I was younger. I did use it a bit much. Wow, was I filled with so much anger.
Thank You, God, for opening my heart to You and this beautiful world of people You created!

My Childhood Lover

He touched me. I’m so… ashamed.
I want to forget him. Don’t ask his name.
Can’t believe he did this to a child.
So viciously rough and destructively wild.
Someone should have heard me scream.
But no, I alone experienced the dream.
So now… how do I tell another
That this maniac was a childhood lover.

10-2-1989
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Sadly, it’s obvious.
Child rape is NOT a loving relationship!

Recollection

Destruction,
     they have…
          …destroyed it.

Reconstruction,
     it is…
          …unrepairable.

Deception,
     why do they…
          …pretend so?

Confinement,
     locked inside…
          …her closet.

9-23-89 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

In The Depths of Despair

A blood stain upon my clothes, leaves a clue behind that tells the world my knight in shining armor has plunged his lance into the weakness of my soul. I’m left to endure the agony of betrayal, the horrid of deception. I cannot stay upon my own feet. Weakening even more so, I am lifeless. I fall to the soil of the earth.

…Ah, and alas, the kiss, of the taste of the earth is far more refreshing than the air, I soon will no more breathe. Yet, within all the aching, I still yearn for the arms of my fallen hero. For what would I do in the after world of paradise, if I cannot even kiss my Roman warrior… good-bye

Oh… but then I am reminded by the pain from within my heart, the pain urging the blood to seep upon the soil, by which I am romanced by. It could only be that the ecstasy I once felt from my reigning Casanova, is now the depths of despair.

9-10-89 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)
PS… I no longer think of a Roman Warrior as a hero now.
No one is mightier than my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Love is Christ focused.

Deception

**Please note that this was written in 1989, when I was just barely 20 years old. The Lord has brought me a long way. While I can still be cynical and a lot of this still holds true, I do not have lovers or think so negatively of the world. Praise His Holy name for allowing His love to flow through my life and mind. May even these words be used according to His will for someone who IS there now.**

Deception,

it’s not a nice word, but it is the description of the world’s main priority. All they care about is getting what they want. And no matter what it takes, they will use and abuse, anyone and anything, in any way. It’s really simple to understand. It’s just hard to accept it and deal with it. It’s so very hard to live a life you could never approve of. A life that you could never come to terms with. Or simply consider as living.

How can you be happy conning someone? Wouldn’t it get lonely? Wouldn’t it get confusing? Wouldn’t you get hurt? I certainly do not find anything about lying to the one who trusts you, nor deceiving one who cares so deeply for you, acceptable. Nor do I find it comforting to betray the one who loved you with all their heart. Would you really want to lose someone who cares that much? Would you really want to do that to them? How could you close your eyes at night? How could you possibly be happy? Wouldn’t it become painful to know you’ve lost their trust, or lost their concern, or better yet their love?

I would be devastated. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m already so confused and destroyed from all those who have claimed to be my friends, when all along they were only there to aid my lovers in hurting me. I just can’t see how they enjoy themselves. And I certainly don’t agree with those who actually believe in love. Love is a lie. One error the world has yet to correct. For how can they believe they love, if love is meaningless? It would do no good to say, “I love you.” For they would simply laugh and say, “I’m sure you do.” Knowing they could care less, or they would let it go to their head.

Well, I guess I’ll just finish up with one last opinion. If the world is going to keep deception alive, and continue their lies, the abuse, and the hurting, and I don’t believe they will gain anything by using someone’s love for them, should I wish them luck? Or should I simply sit back and watch them slowly destroy themselves?

8-13-89 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

The Harlot of Life (Prov.7)

Father, life comes at us like a harlot,
with its many comforts and flatteries.
Most often it is that soft and tender soul
who knows exactly how we feel,
and expresses how they care when no one else does,
or at least not like we need.
It is that wicked smile that says,
You don’t need to let things get you down.
You are better than that, deserve more than that.
You deserve good things.
You deserve to feel happy. You deserve to be happy.
Let me make you happy.” says the harlot of life.
“Let me shelter you from that which threatens to steal your happiness.
Let me be strong for you while being so tender to you.”
All so this harlot can feel happy.
But she is happiest when the giving of pleasure is filled
and it is her turn to receive pleasure.

Her pleasure is to be the one who inflicts the pain, the sadness, the destruction.
Her goal all along was to prove that she could win the soul.
Protect us, Lord, from the harlot of life.
Our souls are weak from hunger and oppression.
Keep us for you. Save us for our First Love.
The love that truly wants what’s best for us,
even if it means protecting us from what we want,
or taking us through the hardship that will prepare us from what is really to come yet.
Help us to cling to you when we feel scared.
Help us to spend time with you when we are lonely.
Help us to seek you when we are lost.
Help us to read your word when we need wisdom or guidance.
Help us to pray to you when we need answers.
Help us to listen when we need to hear.
Help us to hear when we need to listen.
Help us to remember that your heart longs for ours.
Help us to remember that we love you because you first loved us.
And when we need proof, help us to remember the cross.
May your tenderness and strength,
your sacrifice and shelter protect us from the harlot of life.
May your word and Spirit protect us from every form of harlot.
May you remain our First Love.

10-15-16 written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 7