Lord, I carry so much fear.
I love and trust You,
But I fear my actions fail to say so.
I fear my testimony fails You…
Taints You…
Draws You unjust bias…
Undeserved blame.
I fear I disappoint You,
And I fear I discourage others.
I fear I ruin communications…
With me and You…
With others…
Sometimes even myself.
I fear being at the mercy of others,
Especially those who are cruel,
And those who cruelly laugh at me,
Laugh at my pain.
I fear that I hurt others.
I fear being forgotten.
I fear failing to leave the testimony
That You expect of me,
Hope of me…
For You.
I fear.

Written by Gail Brookshire

You Can’t Have My Love

No. You can’t have my friendship back.
You betrayed me. Concern you lacked.
You brought me pain and smiled in pleasure.
My worst nightmare was your to treasure.
You hurt me so bad, I cried.
My friendship with the world died.
You can’t come back and pretend it’s OK.
You never even apologized for hurting me, in any way.
At one time, you never thought you hurt me,
And still didn’t understand why when you heard me.
You just came crying about your life in despair.
I guess you thought I would actually care.
But when you choose our friendship last,
You made it a permanent part of our past.
Friends who saw me through my pain with support
Need my love and concern. They deserve so much more.
So no, I won’t exclude them, or make you the only one.
If you wanted my friendship, you shouldn’t have done what you’ve done.
Progressed by pain, I’ve grown through the ache.
To let you back in, would be my only mistake.

7-3-1993 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Agonizing Love

Agonizing… knowing you’re going to die,
to know now is the time of your death,
to know you’ll suffer so cruelly, so painfully,
to know the people you’re dying to help
will be the people begging for your death,
your pain, your suffering, your agony.
Agonizing… knowing your only child is going to die,
to know now is the time of his death,
to know he’ll suffer cruelly, so painfully,
to know the people he’s dying to help
will be the people begging for his death,
his pain, his suffering, his agony.
Agonizing… because his death will be
your own suffering of cruelty,
your pain, your agony.
Agonizing… to see there will still be even one
to reject the blood shed to save them
from their own eternal agony.
Agonizing… to know anyone has to suffer
eternal agony in hell.

4-27-11 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)