To God and All

An apology is in order and I am the one who owes the apology.
I owe an apology to God and all who have hurt me.
For so long I have been bitter and hard hearted
Because of all the hardship I have endured
To only gain heartache, betrayal, and cheated of my dreams.
And yet for everything I have been so bitter about,
It was only possible for them to happen
By something being wrong within me to allow it.
And I am not totally innocent either.
I have played my role in my own heartaches.
This I have not denied at all.
However, I have been the one to make the decisions
That eventually caused the probability.

I have been most hurt by fellow Christians
Who have taken pleasure in my pain, inflicting that pain,
And carry on as though it is only Christlike to allow myself to be done so.
Yet I have a mouth to say, “No. That is not what Christ would have me do.”
I have the ability to say, “I’m sorry. Whether you agree or not,
Understand or not, I cannot do what you ask.”
I have the capability to stand up and say, “That hurts.”
And now that things are said and done,
And my once supportive friends leave me alone
To fight my battle and heal my own wounds,
I have the knowledge to know God cares and IS my Healer.
If anything, the paths in which I have been walking
Were going in just the direction God so designed,
Regardless of what others say.

I have always kept God first… even in the midst of my sinning.
My prayers have never ceased.
Decisions that were made and broke my heart to make,
Were done in following God and trusting Him,
That leading me away was for a purpose.
Though others may have been hurt and confused,
As I was in my obedient walk,
I obeyed my Lord and Savior and have no reason to regret.
There is much I don’t understand, but there is one thing I have never doubted…
God has been the one to lead me down these roads,
And walks with me all the way on each one.
And anything that happens along the way, builds me for Him.

Therefore I owe an apology to my Lord for complaining,
For crying, for doubting, for carrying guilt or regret in my decisions.
I owe an apology to all who hurt me for the bitterness I have carried toward you
For the roles in which God has set for me to endure.
The pain you have inflicted has been His teaching.
Your betrayal has been His moments to draw me closer to Him,
And for Him to draw closer to me.
These times have been times I have felt His stronghold.
I have gained strength that I am to share even with those who have hurt me.

Jesus died for all… including those who betrayed Him.
Who am I to think I deserve to understand why fellow Christians would betray me
When Jesus was betrayed by His very own disciples, His friends, His companions,
His community, His followers, the crowd, His church leaders,
And all that nailed Him to the cross to die?
That group would include me.
I was a part of the crowd.
I have played my role in betraying Him and yet He is not bitter toward me.
He is more loving and forgiving every day.
He picks me up and leads me through this wilderness of life.
He comforts my broken heart and renews my shattered dreams.
His heart’s desire is for you and I to love one another,
And rebuke one another when needed.

I extend my apology to all those who read this and let you know
I pray for you each.
I especially want to apologize to those whom were the guilty
In betraying me, hurting me, taking advantage of me,
And still thinking nothing wrong of it to this day…
I forgive you.
You could not have hurt me without my allowing you to.
And if standing up to someone was the cause of my pain,
Then there is nothing to regret.
Instead there is much to pray for on your behalf before the Lord.
I will be your love and support regardless, just as He is mine.
And if you hurt me or abuse my friendship, I will tell you
And not allow you to do so.
Instead I will draw our attention back to the cross
And the Friend who hung on it for you and I.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
Even in the painful part…
Thank you for allowing my Lord to help me grow.
And Lord, my Father, I thank You for thinking of me
Enough to teach me, to protect me, and to stand up for me.
Thank You for never leaving me or thinking less of me.
I will try to think more of others and their pain
Whenever I am consumed with mine.
I love You.

6-18-2000 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: getting past the bitterness

Easter Is Coming

Easter is coming and I’m so sad.
I’ve completely lost the pizazz I had.
Why do I worry so much when I should see
Jesus is the one who suffered, not me.
This is a time to remember what He did,
To learn why and never take it for granted.
His blood poured to the soil to cleanse my soul.
The spear lanced through His side, makes me whole.
Hands and feet nailed to a wooden cross for our gain.
He gave His love by bearing the pain.
This is something we tend to neglect,
A treasure of life many will reject.
Easter is a time to remember and feel
The sacrifice of love is our daily meal.
We should live for Jesus every day,
And never let the price He paid go away.
This Easter won’t you take just one minute
And try to honor the true meaning in it.

4-12-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Thank You For The Love

Thank You, Sweet Jesus, for the love in this world existing in every soul.
Though it may be rare we share with each other, it is a treasure to hold.
Thank You, Lord, for the care of every heart alive who try to do their best.
For many souls are led astray and become your newest test.
If everyone would take a chance and make the first step out,
They would see how much love is in the world, and they would not have their doubts.
But as it is, we are all fooled with the lie of how we’re all so wicked.
No one trusts the other one when concern is expressed. So when the love comes in, we all tend to miss it.

2-3-1990
Written by Gail Brookshire

That’s What Friends Are For

That’s what friends are for…
A shoulder to cry on,
A friend in need,
Someone to rely on,
Moral support and great concern,
A pal to share a snack,
Someone to cheer you on
Or pat you on the back,
A dream to share,
A game to play,
Drink a shake,
Once a day,
Someone close to whisper,
And help you do your chores,
Someone to stand by you.
That’s what friends are for.

12-23-1989
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. What a Friend We Have in Jesus! ❤
God is my hero!

Climate Royalty

Shut the door, it’s cold outside.
You must not let the heat subside.
Only certain heroes fall.
I am different from them all.
If you think you’ve gotten in,
You should just think again.

12-23-1989
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Let me go!
Thank you, Jesus, for getting through and setting me free! <3
God is my hero!

Night Writers

Friends of suicide.
Souls of the misunderstood.
Many thought they escaped.
If only they could.
Turning back the clock
Is a dream to the world.
Everyone is a prisoner to love.
The key is our search.
Friends of the future,
I warn you of death.
It is not the answer.
It’s only your last breath.

12-21-1989
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. God is our escape, the answer to life and death!
He waits to free you!