Desiring a Special Love

I wanna be loved!
Ok… there I said it!
I wanna be loved by somebody,
And I am so tired of feeling ashamed
Just to admit it.
That is so sad…
That my world would make me feel
Like it’s horrible to say it,
Or selfish to even think it.
I know I have my family.
I know I have my friends.
I especially have my church family.
Yet I still have a yearning
To be loved by that special someone,
And to be that special someone
For the love of my life.
My God given love.
And I know God has no problem
With me saying it, writing it, or feeling it.
His words says it.
“It is not good for man to be alone.”
Even if I am gifted with singleness
For the rest of my life,
There is nothing wrong with the desire
To want to be loved by someone special.

12-20-2005 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. I am always loved by someone special in Christ!

Isolated For Christ

Isolated for a cause,
I search for a way to survive.
It’s not so tragic to try.
Christ had to strive.
No friends, no lover,
I must answer on my own.
Still my heart cries,
“It’s not good for [woman] to be alone.”
Church family accompanies.
Christians uplift each other.
But they have their own families.
They do not need another.
Days are so long.
Nights are even longer.
Fond memories of laughter
Make it hard to be stronger.
I do want to walk my walk.
I do want to talk my talk.
I just wanted to share the path
Without provoking God’s wrath.

7-31-2005 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire

My God, My Everything!

My God, my Friend.
I love You to the end,
And then
I love You eternally,
Forevermore.
Thank You for loving me
The same…
And more than
I could ever imagine.
Thank You for spending
Quality time with me.
Please forgive me
Of when I cheat You
Of such moments to treasure.
You are my Soulmate!
My Bridegroom.
My Lord.
My Savior.
I love You!

2-24-2004 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Up All Night With God

Up all night with God,
Crying, and sobbing, and repenting,
Confessing how horrible I am,
Confessing how far apart from Him I feel.
Yet He listens
To every word, every tear, every cry.
He knows exactly how I feel before
He ever hears a word…
And He patiently and mercifully listens,
He lets me just pour my heart out to Him.
And when all is said and done,
He merely replies, “I know.”
And reassures me with, “I still love you.”
HE KNOWS!
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING I’ve said,
AND STILL LOVES ME!
IMAGINE THAT!
My God still loves me,
Through betrayal and disobedience.
He still wants to be my Friend.
How can I help but love Him
More than I ever have?
Thank You, Jesus.
I love You too.
Thank You for knowing that,
Despite my actions.
Thank You!

1-21-2004 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Past, Present, and Future Sinner

A sinner trapped in a sinful world.
A saved sinner struggling to resist.
My fellow Christians insist it’s easy.
Yet the temptations seem to persist.
Years have passed since my rebirth,
And every day I fight to obey.
My Lord and Savior was crucified once,
And my renewed sin is how I repay.
My Christian friends would say, Don’t write that!”
“Don’t encourage Satan to continue!”
But I write exactly what is fact.
When Christ himself knows it to be true.
I stumble, I fall, I fail my Savior daily.
Though I dream of perfection, I defect.
My Savior has given me mercy and salvation.
My actions could convince that I reject.
A word or two formed upon this paper.
Only the Holy Spirit can create a masterpiece.
When Christ forgives you of your sins,
Let past, present, and future be your peace.

12-9-2003 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

My Dream Come True

I had this dream once.
I dreamt that I was special, that things were going to change.
I dreamt that this special man would come along,
Find me to be special and wait!
I dreamt that this man was after God’s own heart,
And that he would help me to be a woman after God’s own heart.
That he would want me to be a woman after God’s own heart.
That he would be a man I could count on to lead me,
As I believe in Your word that a man us to lead.
I love Your design of men and women.
I longed to be led by this man, despite the fact I feared to trust a man.
And then I ruined it.
The dream turned into a nightmare and then the dream was gone.

I gave away that right to be special to find I wasn’t special at all,
At least not to the man I trusted.
He did not respect my wish to be faithful to God,
To honor my Savior in testimony.
He did not respect the walk I was struggling to continue.
Instead of helping me to be a woman after God’s own heart,
He helped me to be a woman who betrayed God’s own heart.
While I know I could have stopped it,
He stole my trust in thinking he was safe to trust.
And while I became defenseless on God’s behalf,
I made it clear from the beginning where my heart was,
What my intentions were,
And how weak I could be given the wrong circumstances.
Instead of being my strength, he was my weakness.
Instead of making my dreams come true, he took my belief in the dream.

Please give me back the dream.
I don’t want to give up the dream.
I want to believe that someone REALLY thinks I’m special and worth the wait.
I want to know a man who really IS a man after Your own heart.
A man who not only respects me, but oh Lord, respects YOU!
I want a man that I can trust to lead me, to support me,
To want me to BE a woman after Your own heart.
It seems like such an impossible dream,
But Your word tells me that with You nothing is impossible.
If it is what You want FROM me, I know it is what You will give TO me.
Because You DO think I am special.
After all, You made me and love purity!
Be my dream. Make my dream anew. Be my dream come true.

11-14-2003 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Thank You, Jesus, for being my dream come true all these years!
YOU make me special!

Holy Intimacy!

Okay God, You convinced me.
I’ve been asking You to show me,
To help me see it Your way
When it comes to having sex outside of marriage.
I had temptations and asked if we were both single,
And neither serious or heartless,
Or we were just seeking comfort,
Why was it so wrong, other than being against Your law.

First off, it is against YOU and that is reason enough.
Secondly, I’m tired of having to leave,
Of having to worry about him leaving me.
I am so tired of giving myself so intimately to be treated so “formally.”
For the first time in my life I see how depressing for two people
To be so afraid of each other the more intimate they become.
How sad to never be able to come “home” to the one you love,
Instead of having to “get home” after sharing such closeness.

Intimacy should be shared only between two people who are committed…
Committed to be there when the day is over, when the night falls,
When dreams invade, when it’s time to rest,
When the sun brings a new day,
And when the new day offers a new set of trials.
Intimacy is to be a secret between two people
Sharing a life that only they can know.
Not exposed like a centerfold for the highest bidder,
Or to be stolen by the biggest player.
It is something to keep behind closed doors,
Behind drawn blinds,
Underneath the sheets,
And respected with privacy.
Not to be ashamed,
But to be discrete, honorable, appropriate, Holy!

Holy intimacy… that doesn’t sound like it goes together,
But it’s Your secret.
You try to tell us how to respect ourselves,
How to respect one another,
How to respect our God.
How when we disrespect each other, we disrespect You.
Yet we throw Your gift away,
Bringing heartache upon ourselves,
And blame it all upon You.
“Why do You always do this to me?”
“Why do You let this happen?”
How unfair of us.
You are the One who has tried to protect us from ourselves,
From each other,
From the world all along.

Holy intimacy is such a gift. I want it.
I want to make love with my husband AFTER he has kept his promise
And vowed before God and all,
This is forever and we intend to keep God first ALWAYS.
Not after he has made promises he can never keep.
I want to have the peace of mind to know it’s okay to stay,
Instead of worrying about the example or testimony it makes.
I want to know I’m with the one I have been committed to
Before the eyes of God and all our loved ones.
To know it honors God instead of betraying God.

I want a man who respects me enough to wait for the commitment,
Who respects marriage as God does,
Who respects our loved ones enough to give them that testimony,
And more importantly who respects God enough to want to do it right.
A man who doesn’t respect God can’t respect me.
And a man who doesn’t respect me, doesn’t respect God.
How can I love a man who doesn’t respect God?
I don’t want to!

Holy intimacy, what a gift from God to man.
What a pleasure to enjoy,
A treasure to cherish,
A sacred thing to honor.
I want it, God.
I want what You want for me.
Holy intimacy.

11-14-2003 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire