Afraid of Being Abandoned Anymore

Afraid and alone,
You abandoned me.
You left me alone.
Just when I needed you,
You turned your back.
You said you would
Always be there for me,
But you were nowhere in sight
When my tears fell like rain.
There’s nothing left to do now,
Except be glad I made it,
And find a way to survive.
Hoping I heal.
Praying I smile.
Yearning to live.
Desiring to Love.
Maybe someday I’ll forget.
I’m already working on forgiving.
I have to forgive you.
You weren’t the only one to abandon me.
I abandoned myself.
I don’t want to be abandoned anymore.
I’m afraid I won’t make it.
It hurts to be deserted.

9-23-2000 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

More Faith or Heart?

What are we supposed to do
When live in a world where no one is allowed to love?
What are we supposed to believe
When we hold our faith in the great God above?
Are we supposed to believe that we are exempt from passion…
Even if it’s in love and marriage?
Why are some of us destined to be alone…
Or rather unmarried?
I know we’re never alone,
But why are we sometimes so isolated that we feel deserted?
We should be able to focus our love and companionship on Jesus.
He was alone in companionship too/
And He was never married.
Yes He traveled and lodged with the disciples,
But that wasn’t 24 hours a day,
And it wasn’t every day of His life.
He even spent time alone with God in the wilderness.
Tempted by Satan in every way.
Yet He gloriously triumphed
And resisted the worldly treasures.
So why do we feel alone when Jesus is so with us
And knows exactly how we feel?
Could it be we need more faith?
Or more heart?

6-29-1996 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

The Reason

Sometimes it feels like the secrets I hide
Are the only things I have left to share,
And that when I confess them,
No one will have a reason to care.
It seems as though everyone is
Out to discover your memories,
Trying to understand your pain,
Believing they’ll fulfill your needs,
But every time you trust in one,
You’re soon betrayed.
And then they open the door
From which you friendship was made,
Soon again you’re left alone
With no one there to care.
And all your secrets are stolen,
Gaining more heartache to bear.
So when you ask me why it’s hard,
To open up to you,
It’s because i’m afraid to release
The memories I hold onto.

10-10-1990 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: written for Carolyn’s book.
God is my hero.

 

To Yourself

Down this road I walk,
With no one else to talk.
A lonely path I’ll take.
I’ll learn from my mistakes.
For in my world alone,
With God, I’ve greatly grown.
No one can experience your pain.
So there’s nothing left to gain.
Though they will definitely try
To break you down to cry.
You must protect yourself carefully,
And say there’s no one but God and me.
Enjoy your space from the crowd.
Where things aren’t quite so loud.
Your life is personal to you,
So do as you would do.
But keep it private at all times,
Where no one knows (in your mind).
As you begin to take a walk,
Tell yourself, I don’t need to talk.

8-14-1988 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Scared about a lot!

Away From The World

So cold, I feel inside.
Alone, away from the world.
I’m constantly surrounded by others,
yet feel so isolated.
How can I relate my thoughts
to concerns of others?
Depression is so nasty,
but so comforting in a way.
Why do I feel so sorry for myself?
No one could do anything
about my problems,
except myself.
That’s why I try so much harder
to make sure I never learn
to eternally dwell in self-pity.
Thank you, God, for love, life, and reality.
You are all three
and I’m glad to be a part of each.

9-15-91 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)