A Happily Ever After Prayer For Us All

Dear God…
This is going to be an unusual request or prayer on my part,
But I come to You with deepest sincerity and Godly truth
When I ask You to keep me from becoming anyone’s wife
If I am only going to be their path to pain or hell.

Marriage has been something I was always afraid of and cared nothing for until You placed the desire in me to honor You with such trust.
You showed me it was a gift for two people living with and for God…
Together and individually.
What a witness and example of love and dedication…
Purity and forgiveness…
And so much more.

But God… You have shown me along the way
How much the other person can be hurt and loved too, by me…
Even when I am close to You and walking a Christlike path.
There are far too many cliches and ideas about how men treat women wrong,
About Christians being the Saints of relationships,
And that when people are hurt, one is to blame more than the other.
I do not want to live like that.

Recently, I have had so much resentment and bitterness toward life…
And those who have placed pain in mine.
But it gives me no right to think I can take it out on others.
Especially those I love.
There is only so much love and forgiveness one can give when they are not God.
And I have no right to ask for any.

I do not want to give up on love, me, You,
Or the idea that a man and I can serve You and glorify You in Holy Unity.
If two people in love with God and each other can help make the world a better place,
Or give more to what God can do… Your will be done.
But if my behavior and moments of lacking faith can hinder a man
And actually bring him down,
And allow me to come between You and he…
Please, spare us both from the tragedy.

A woman who cannot give support in all matters, more importantly spiritual matters,
Is not a woman that God has created for man…
And therefore and cannot be the helper God allows women to be as a wife.
Yes, men do have their roles,
But whether this world wants to admit it or not, appreciate it or not,
Women are just as responsible for being support for their husbands,
As husbands are responsible for being support for their wives.
It is a partnership in all matters.

God, I trust You and know that You can use me in anyway You see.
If it is to love and support a man that You have me set aside for,
Keep me clean, faithful, spiritual, strong, and Holy for Him,
That I better serve You both.
Let Him be able to see that there is still within me a woman of God
Who wants nothing more for her husband than a beautiful relationship with Christ…
For Him and His children…
And family and friends.
I do not know who this man is, or if he even exists, for I do not know Your will.
But I pray, Dear Lord, that You will keep me patient and obedient in waiting.
I know that You will send this leader of my home and family in clarity,
If it is to be.

If I am not to be with anyone, I do not feel You have failed me,
Nor that I have failed You or any man.
I know that it is simply Your looking after us all…
Me, the man, and the many people You will touch and bless with my singleness.
I know that singleness is just as much a gift from God as a marriage.
And my greatest desire is to serve You and give back to You
(Not in payment but with love)
As much as You have given me.
Giving a man faith to live by and witness in a Christian wife or a Christian lady
Is far greater a treasure than any form of human love a woman could possibly offer.
Christ is that untouchable, as well as that supreme in matters of the heart.

Thank You for hearing my prayer (my wish upon Your star),
And the comfort of knowing You have heard and have answered.
Be it my wedding day or judgment day that You share the answer,
I will always be thankful to You for looking after me and the man I love,
As well as the world we minister to.
In Jesus Sweet and Beautiful Name I pray… Amen.

5-28-1999 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Jesus, You Beautify the Ugly in Me

Jesus… I cry unto You…
The only love I know will never leave me.
If there is anyone who I have hurt selfishly and in vain,
Despite all the love and sacrifice You continuously give me,
It is You…
And yet I know
That You will not give up on me.
You see my heart is filled with nothing but honest love…
Pure good intentions to care for and nurture the ones You bless me with.
Thank You for Your unconditional love…
Your never ending mercy…
And Your faithful love…
Thank You that I can sit with my head down, tears plenty, and heart sore
And feel nothing but tight hugs and compassionate kisses on my forehead,
Never a feeling of “How dare you do this to me?”
“What gives you the right?”
“My pain gives me the right to hurt you.”
“You did this to me… I am only doing what’s fair.”
Or “How could I possibly forget all the pain?
You have no idea how much you hurt me.”

Instead I am held in love and concern and comforted with
“It’s okay. I know you never meant to do it.”
“You have my love forever.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be right here.I could never walk away from someone I love. Not only would I die for you… I already did… and I still love you.”
“You just need some love and patience.”
“No, you don’t deserve it, no one does. But my grace is sufficient and will provide all the love and mercy I want and choose to give because I love you.”

Thank You for holding me, Jesus. Thank You for never wanting me out of Your sight.
Thank You for caring enough to speak up for my heart
When someone else threatens to take it from You and me.
Thank You for letting me know that my best interest is more of Your concern
Than how much I have hurt You.
Thank You for believing me and knowing I would never intentionally hurt anyone…
And that when I do I am so genuinely sorry.
Thank You that I have to do nothing to prove my love, my sorrow, or regret,
And especially for not holding it against me
To just constantly throw in my face.

I have confidence with love like Yours that I will find a way to love people again…
To let go all of the hurt I feel from pain…
And mend all the broken fences…
And be the person Christ allows me to be.
With love like Yours… I know there is hope…
You are the reason we love to begin with…
And the reason we are all spared of the pain we have no idea we could have endured had it not been for Your mercy, patience, and love.

5-27-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Intimacy… It’s a Godly Thing

Finally… I have learned why God has placed such value on purity,
And such strong warning on fornication…
At least that’s what I always say right after I have allowed myself to be hurt again.
God shows me again and again how a person cannot possibly love me
Unless they make me a part of their life forever,
Vow to all their loved ones and mine… dedication,
And give to me (not just promise) a lifetime commitment
Before they even lay a hand on me.
That is the only way to awaken the next morning with no guilt,
No shame, and no fear of my love leaving the next day.

It does not mean there will be no fighting, no arguing,
No totally frustrating and “I hate you and never want to see you again” moments.
It just means that if you have these moments,
You have a true commitment to try as hard as you can
To make it last, work it out, and support one another.
You don’t talk about who has hurt who,
Try to figure a way out,
Or feel cheap for giving yourself so intimately.
You know the person beside you will still be home tonight to lay down beside you,
And hopefully make amends of whatever trouble there may be,
And if not, you know they will still be there.

Intimacy is a treasure between two people who know
Their lovemaking has nothing to do with why they are together,
Why they stick together,
And pledge their friendship and marriage.
It is something they know they honor their God with,
And create life in their children.
It is something that could never be used as a weapon,
And never cheapened to a short event of life,
To only be associated with pain and heartache.
It is not something to compare from one lover to another,
And is not something to steal from people you love.
I am not innocent in my pledge to love being only for the married.
I am not innocent of honoring others in their right to be loved forever,
But I can say that I have never found pleasure in exchanging pleasure for pain.

The more I hurt myself, the more God shows me truth.
Patience is more of a virtue than even I can understand.
And even if I never find a man who will follow through
With his word of love…
His pledge of marital wishes…
And be the first man in my life to give God His just deserves
In marrying a woman God honored them with…
Before defiling her, and make leaving such a justifiable excuse.
I will always have the amazement of God’s love…
The love of a man who has never touched me anywhere but my heart…
Who has asked nothing of me, except to love Him, myself, and people,
And has taken nothing from me, but all the pain and hurt that has been given me,
As well as my place in hell, by the grace of His merciful and forgiving heart.

Intimacy… it’s a love of purity and commitment…
A pledge to stick together forever…no matter what…
Even if it means from time to time
You have to endure the unpleasant…
And be a little forgiving…
Maybe even continuously forgiving.
Intimacy… it’s a Godly thing.

5-27-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Confianza: El Ver No Es Creer / Faith: Seeing Is Not Believing

Creo que es una buena idea tenerse gusto en confianza.
I believe that it is a good idea for one to take pleasure in faith.

Tenemos mucho que hacer hoy.
We have a lot to do today.

Tenemos muchísimo trabajo en esta vida…
We have a great deal of work to do in this life…

Muchas cosas…
Many things…

Y muchas otras cosas más.
And many other things.

No hay tiempo para nada,
There is no time for nothing,

Por lo menos es lo que creemos.
At least that’s what we believe.

Señor, es el mas bello mundo que he visto desde que creo en ti.
Lord, it’s the most beautiful world I’ve seen since I believe in You.

!La vida esta exquisita contigo en control.
Life is exquisite with You in charge.

!Que blanca la arena!
How white the sand is!

!Que bella!
How beautiful!

!Que olas mas buenas!
What great waves!

Ver la puesta del sol,
To watch the sun set,

Ver la salida del sol,
To watch the sun rise,

Caminar en la orilla del mar,
To walk the shore,

Hacer castillos de arena,
To make sand castles,

Tomar el sol,
To sunbathe,

El amanecer,
Sunrise,

La madrugada,
Early morning,

El atardecer.
Sunset.

!El Señor siempre es bueno.
The Lord is always good.

!Silencio! (suavemente a clase)
Silence! (softly)

!Eschuche!
(Listen)

Que oyes?
What do you hear?

Han oido Uds la ultima?
Did you hear the last one?

Han oido Uds. algo?
Do you hear anything?

Que Dios lo concede.
God grant it.

Aun con la ayuda de Dios todo es difícil al principio,
Even with the help of God everything is hard to begin with,

Pero el final no es nada difícil.
But in the end it is not hard.

Conoce Dios su Corazón.
God knows Your Heart.

Conoce Dios como eres por dentro…
God knows what is inside of you…

La luz,
The light,

Océanos azules marinos y celestes,
Sky blue and navy blue oceans,

Esperando salir afuera,
Hoping to come and get out,

En un poema,
In a poem,

En un canto,
En a song,

En la belleza de Dios.
In God’s beauty.

Imaginate,
You can imagine,

!Que blanca la area!
How white the sand is!

!Que blanca la arena!
How beautiful!

Veas las olas tan magníficas.
You can see magnificent waves.

El océano está exquisito.
The ocean is exquisite.

Es el mas bello mundo que has visto en tu vida.
It’s the most beautiful world you’ve seen in your life.

El meteorologo dijo que iba a llover.
The weatherman says it’s going to rain.

No creo que va a llover.
I don’t believe it’s going to rain.

Tengo mucho entusiasmo
I have a lot of enthusiasm

Que el sol, las estrellas, y el lunar
That the sun, the stars, and the moon

Iluminaran nuestro mundo.
Will light our world.

Confianza: el ver no es creer.
Faith: seeing is not believing.

Creer es creer sin ver.
Believing is believing without seeing.

Cinco de Mayo, Mil Novecientos Noventa y Nueve
May 5th, 1999

Escrito para Senorita Gail Brookshire
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Written for Spanish class taught by Senora Hilliard

Following Your Light

Following Your light, darkness tries to distort You.
In a moment of confusion I pause to play it safe.
I wait for You to lead me with Your voice,
Or to take me by the hand in the right direction.
I feel Your concern.
I know Your sincerity.
Trust is what You are all about.
Yes this fear of getting hurt with what I cannot see
Is keeping me from moving.
I’m afraid something might strike me,
Something may be unreliable, dangerous.
You urge me to trust You and I explain…
“It’s not You I am afraid to trust.
It’s the pain I might come across.”
Slowly, a mist of light shines in Your eyes.
They are all I can see.
I look into them and they say,
“I love you. I never want anything to hurt you.
But for Me to bring you to a safe place,
You have to be willing to trust Me enough
To leave this uncertain place you are in.
I can’t promise there won’t be anything
Upon the path that won’t hurt you.
But I can promise you that I will be with you,
And will never leave you.
Your pain will be My pain,
And I will make My peace your peace.
Will you believe Me and trust Me?”
With my heart filled with overwhelming comfort,
I reply, “I will and I do.”
I take Your hand and step forward in faith.

2-24-1999 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Twisted Tangles

A maze designed for all that are willing
To give in to agony for one moment of pleasure.
A price that is continuously paid for in full,
Though none can see the waste of such a treasure.
God opens His arms to release His children.
They want so much to play.
Yet when it’s time for them to come home,
So many will have gone astray.
Paths of temptations. Descriptive decisions.
A puzzle of the world has missing pieces.
They search in the dark for a way to the light.
They will never see it is Jesus.
A game, a rat race, some kind of challenge.
Humans aren’t content without some kind of fight.
They can’t let go and just give it to God.
They have to fail with all their might.
Storms set in and warn all those roaming
To seek shelter from what is coming.
How tragic to see so many die
Because they were too proud to be running.

2-22-1999 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Love That Will Never End

So many lives searching for love that will never end,
Yet they continue to throw it away again and again.
They’re so caught up in fantasy and love at first sight,
Love that is beautiful and holds you through the night.
How many times will souls have to fall to learn,
Without God in the love they’re going to burn?
Satan can easily convince us with pretty blue eyes
That love will last forever in his own disguise.
We even help him to convince ourselves a ring makes it okay,
But sin is sin… even in a wonderful and loving way.
We agonzie and struggle as we continue to hurt each other,
Simply from believing we can’t live without one another.
But when push comes to shove, and marriage to divorce,
It’s plain to see there is value in obeying God’s word.
We come to Him with doubts, complaints, and cries,
But when He tells us what to do, we just roll our eyes.
How can God ever help us or save us from ourselves,
If we don’t obey and accept His help?
Lord, thank You for being there when I want to stray.
If it weren’t for You, I would have thrown my love and life away.
I pray that others will see Your love is the only hope to survive.
Thank You for the greatest Love, Your Son, who died but is alive.
He is the Love we’re all searching for that will never end.
I pray that we never throw it away, but welcome Him in.

2-11-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

My Dearest Future Husband

My dearest future husband,
I have been thinking about you, and wonder if you’re safe.
I wonder what you’re going through, and if you have anyone to talk to.
It breaks my heart to know you could be down, heartbroken,
Or just struggling to make it through your day,
And that when you lay down tonight,
I will not have given you a hug, a kiss, a word of encouragement,
Not any support or love to let you know everything will be alright,
Amd that you are loved.
But, Honey, I praise the Lord that you and I both know
That God is thinking of you too.
He is seeing you through all your good and bad,
And is always there for you to talk to.
It warms my heart to know you could be down, heartbroken,
Or just struggling to make it through your day,
And that when you lay down tonight,
Jesus will give you an embrace, a word of encouragement,
Peace, comfort, and all the love and support you could ask for,
To let you know everything will be alright,
And that He loved you enough to die for you.
I thank God for being so faithful to you and me.
We could never give each other the love and peace
That He gives to us in a perfect marriage,
Unless we place God first in our marriage.
Until then, I give you the best support any of us can give each other…
The greatest act of love we can ever perform for anyone…
I lift you up in prayer to the Lord.
I trust Him to hear and protect.
Until we worship Him together,
Your Future Wife.

2-9-1999 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Trusting You With What I Do Not Understand

Lord, You walk me away from friends
I have known and loved for years.
You say that it’s best if we want to
All stop shedding wasteful tears.
I do not question You. I do not doubt
That You know what’s best for all.
I do wonder how I will ever grow
Without the love of those who care if I fall.
I know that You were their strength
In giving all that was shared with me.
And I know that they could not care as much
If You did not allow it to be.
It’s just You helped us make it through
So much heartache and tragedy together.
So many wonderful memories of laughter and joy
Will live in our hearts forever.
These friends are souls who would be there
In a minute if You should ask them to.
Without such wonderful friendship,
I am not sure I’ll know what to do.
With my heart in Your hand,
I trust You with what I do not understand.
For it was You who brought us together
And helped us survive hand in hand.
And when they need a friend to turn to,
I know that I can trust You to be there.
For You have always been my friend
In every friend I had to care.

2-6-1999 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

I Love You and You Love Me, Honey

I love you and you love me.
I met you under that big tree.
I love you and you love me.
I got stung by a bumble bee.
I love you and you love me.
That big bee came from that tree.
I love you and you love me.
If you look up you can see.
I love you and you love me.
That big bee made his hive in the tree.
I love you and you love me.
I’m gonna climb up that tree.
I love you and you love me.
Cause I’m gonna get some bees’ honey.
I love you and you love me.
If I get stung and fall catch me.
I love you and you love me.
I’m gonna share of my honey.
I love you and you love me.
With my one and only.
I love you and you love me.
Can you guess who’s my honey?
I love you and you love me.
You oughta know you’re my honey!

2-1999
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: wrote this for Anthoni and David
To sing to Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don’t Care just for fun!

A Moment to Sit and Write

Oh, Dear Lord, finally a moment to sit and write.
A moment to put the pen to the paper
And let the ink release all that longs to be free.
Why do I feel this kind of need?
I am not sure, but it is just so much of who I am.
The writer You have designed in me
Can’t breathe any other way.
You have that power over me,
And I love needing You in any way.
I can trust You with my heart,
My soul, my needs, and my feelings.
You know that I am scared.
You know that I’m eager,
But am so earnestly trying to be patient
And enjoy the peacefulness.
How can I figure which way to go?
How do I know I’m doing the right thing?
How do I know I’m doing enough?
How do I know I’m doing too much?
How do I know I have let go and am trusting You?
I must pray and trust that I have and that I am.
Thank You for being here for me.
It was great to be able to come to You.

1-28-18 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Winds Rage On

Terrified! Terrified!
Within I try to hide.
Winds rage on and on.
Object of fear… be gone.
Scared… so scared.
I am so afraid and unaware.
You cry. You try.
You cannot ask why.
The weight of hate,
It can suffocate…
All that I feel
And protect with steel.
Stout. Stout.
I must step out.
The falling air
Will bring despair.
Get back. Step back.
Prepare for attack.
This is your friend.
This is the end.

1-23-1999 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

The Plan That Failed

Talking to you, I hear a cry.
I turn to seek its origin.
So quickly you run for shelter.
Will this weakness never end?
You say a word to ease the voice.
Another cry is released aloud.
In awe we turn to see a sight.
We are surrounded by a crowd.
Within the group there is a child.
She brings forth a soldier’s cap.
On the bill is a stain of blood.
Inside the fold there is a map.
With your right hand you open it.
Your eyes begin to scan.
At the bottom is a note for us.
“Remember we have a plan.”
A tear is shed from your eyes.
The crowd begins to leave.
Why did you ever promise me?
Why did I ever believe?

1-23-1999 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Nature Speaks

Rain falls and beats against the window.
Drops pelt the pane.
Images appear in misty patches of fog.
They disappear with the rain.
Flowers regain their strength.
The storm has rumbled by.
Trails of heaven’s tears
Return to the darkened sky.
Winds blow throughout the earth.
Clouds follow close behind.
Darkness leaves upon request.
Light has spoken so kind.
Beauty whispers a desire to express.
Serenity accepts with a smile.
Kindness welcomes all to pause.
Peace visits for a little while.

1-23-1999 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

And You Shall Direct My Paths

Following You, God… it’s a challenging path to keep up with.
If You were not there to pick me up when I stumble and fall,
Urge me onward when I hesitate in doubt,
And carry me when I am too weak to make it,
I would be so lost.
Many things appear along the journey and seem to suggest
I am going the wrong way,
But that is when I stop, close my eyes, and hold out my hand.
Thank You for always being faithful in taking my hand
And leading me through such blinding times,
Through darkness that can stump me and fill me with fear,
Around carefully set traps and unseen pit holes,
And away from such deceptive souls.
You preserve me, dear Lord, for Your perfect plan
And allow me to walk in Your Holy will.
I am honored to receive Your wise and loving correction.
I praise You for all that You do for me.
I pray that my obedience be eternal and prosperous,
That I might glorify the One who gave me life.
In Jesus name I pray… Amen.

1-21-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire