Struggle Within My Heart

Struggle Within My Heart
(H. – heart / M. Mind)

H. I love him so much. What a gift if he could only love me back.

M. Well he doesn’t, now does he?

H. He used to tell me he did once.

M. Yeah, and look for how much for how long.

H. It’s not his fault. I wouldn’t believe him.

M. Well if he loved you, you would not have been able to push him away. He would have loved you no matter what.

H. But I pushed him away.

M. No love can be pushed away by being loved. Anyone who loved you would have been ecstatic and thanking God that you finally loved them back. You could have never had too much contact.

H. I still love him. No matter what, faults and all, I love him for who he is and just as he is. I just can’t have him.

M. Trust me. You’re better off. He can not hurt you or promise you the morning. You won’t have to worry about waking up to a broken heart.

H. Yes. You are right and so wise. Just please tell him I love him and that I’ll never stop loving him.

M. Now what good would that do your already broken heart trying to mend?

H. Nothing that would interest him. You are right again. I’ll just keep him in my prayers forever. God, please take care of him and keep him happy. If he loves you, I know he will be. Amen! Love Gail (Your Child)

 

2-1998
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. A heartache that could have been avoided by obeying God to begin with. But it’s never too late to do the right thing with God! He’s waiting patiently and excitedly every day for those He loves! No matter how long the wait! He will never turn you away! ❤

Sometimes… He Does Somehow!

Sometimes I fear I communicate too much.

Sometimes I fear I can’t communicate at all.

But somehow or other people convince me

That I have this gift from God to do so.

Sometimes I say too much.

Sometimes I need to say something.

But somehow God finds a way to use me

To say exactly what He wants me to say.

Sometimes I push people away.

Sometimes I entice them in.

Bow somehow God manages to show me

I have touched them all for Him.

Sometimes I talk too loud.

Sometimes I need to speak up.

But somehow God gives me opportunity

To wisely use His time in me.

Sometimes I like to write.

Sometimes I feel it’s useless.

But somehow God convinces me

It’s exactly what He expects of me.

Sometimes I know my way.

Sometimes I feel so lost.

But with God in my life and heart,

My witnessing will be HIS!

4-27-1998 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

A Day Apart

A day apart and I already miss you.

We haven’t known each other long,

But it’s long enough to miss you.

You make my day a brighter place.

You uplift me with a love from God.

You inspire my energy with your invisible smile.

There are times when a day gets tough,

And a week seems like a tragedy.

But God brings people together

And they share in pleasant company.

How do you know to make me laugh?

You don’t even know me.

And if I knew you,

I would never have to wonder.

Do you miss me at all?

Do you even care what I am doing

When we are not in conversation?

Do I even cross your mind?

I hope so because I do miss you.

And even though we have spent a day apart,

It feels like an unhappy day.

May you and God share quality moments,

Your friend in Christ.

 

4-27-1998 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

The Man Who Had Something to Say

A man walks through the park.

My husband and I notice his smile.

He seems as though he’s on top of the world

While appearing poor and broken all the while.

We look at each other with concern.

Compassion fills our hearts.

Yet we never speak a word to him.

We simply watch him depart.

Moments later a sound across the road

Draws attention from everywhere.

We go to see what is the matter

And the man from the park lies there.

He has lost his life to a moment,

Yet still a smile is on his face.

My husband takes my hand and says,

“He must’ve been on his way to a happy place.”

Tears exchange between us.

We embrace and walk away.

All I can seem to think was

“Maybe it was the man who had something to say.”

4-25-1998 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: God’s love for the suffering and broken hearted.

And God Steps In

The morning brings the sun and love comes to be.

He promises me forever then walks out on me.

He tries to reenter but only visits.

God steps in and says, “That’s it!

No one will hurt or use My child!

There was a reason My Son walked her mile.

She’s made in My image and carries My will.

For this loved one of Mine, I would kill.

So down on your knees. Beg for mercy from Me.

If you’ll just repent, I will set you free.”

 

A friend runs over to share a laugh.

Yet all she wants is to ask and ask,

“Will you do this or that to risk your soul?

Surely you know our friendship is gold.”

God steps in and says, “No playing games!

I know exactly what’s going on, and I’m taking names.

You will not deceive or lure My daughter.

She is the reason My only Son was slaughtered.

To betray this young heart with pain in any way

Will leave you in danger of judgment day.

So down on your knees. Beg for mercy from Me.

If you will repent, I will set you free.”

 

Christians fellowship to honor and praise God.

Yet somehow it’s the Lord that they have forgotten.

Selling Bibles, charging church membership fees.

God quickly and angrily thunders, “On your knees!!

It’s when you slander My name that you sin.

I will not tolerate it. I must step in!

So down! Down on your knees. Beg for mercy from Me.

If you’ll just repent, I will set you free.”

 

4-25-1998 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

A Man With A Voice

There’s a man with a voice… he talks to me through the night.

Actually, he speaks to the world through the night.

He brings to us all the sound of a beautiful Man.

He gives us the message that gives us hope.

He shares with us the joy that his Savior shares with him.

He communicates to us the most important gift we could ever learn to receive…

The message of Christ.

 

Through the power of the blood of Jesus, this man with a voice was saved.

He testifies to us what this did and does for his life.

His eyes and smile light up the room though transmitted only by radio waves,

That’s how much excitement he feels and shares by the grace of God.

Playing song after song to glorify his Lord, he tells us that we too can know

The love and joy and… PRAISE THE LORD… eternal life with the Savior ourselves.

 

As his hours on the air narrows down and he signs off from the world,

He leaves behind a joy for the heart, a song for the soul,

and the most beautiful gift a soul can receive…

An open door to Christ, and eternal life.

I pray for that man with a voice,

And that somehow we, the voices on the phone,

Give him something uplifting back to join him in praising God.

4-25-1998 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Radio friends

A Lily of the Field

Bowed on her knees a woman cries… HOLY.

Her voice carries love so softly to her Lord.

In the open fields God’s light shines upon her.

The warmth of His gentle touch says, “I heard.”

Her lips whisper glory and honor to her Father.

She worships the Lamb with her heart.

A light breeze blows through her hair.

She smiles to feel His vow to never depart.

Flowers dance in the wind all around the woman.

She merely remains and indulges in His wonder.

As she watches the animals from a distance,

She thanks her Lord for the honor to be wife and mother.

God sends a butterfly to pass through the fields.

It comes in her direction and waves its wings.

The young lady feels the loving moment.,

So much that she begins to sing.

“Breathe on me breath of God” honors her Lord,

With the voice of an angel sent from above.

He comforts her with words of thought,

“I know that you carry My love.”

Daylight lessens as the sun begins to set

And the young lady lays in the fields asleep.

For there is no fear of being in the night

When she knows her soul He will keep.

4-25-1998 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Read on HIS Radio program Still Waters by Melissa Smith,
And then she played Breathe On Me Breath of God after.
Praise You, God! I pray it served You well!

So Refreshing… A True Gift From God

From the moment I first spoke with you God was present.

He was a part of our encounter.

I called for prayer and praise,

And you were with ready with honor and servancy

For the Lord we share as God.

Jesus allowed His love to flow through two Christian souls,

And brought us together for a moment of holiness.

Praise God!!

 

It turns out you are single as well.

Being I came out of a bad relationship just recently,

It is so refreshing… a true gift from God!

All I really needed to know

Was that there really is someone like you out there.

Whether we ever date or not really doesn’t matter.

Just to have talked with you one night,

And know that God does have men like you

Made me realize I can’t give up on God like that.

 

I was so broken… my faith damaged.

I just couldn’t believe that God has someone for  me.

That maybe my expectations were too high.

Even if you’re not the one,

I know my expectations (wanting to wait until marriage)

Are exactly where God wants them to be…

As high as He is!!

Praise God for your Holy being!

 

4-23-1998 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire

God Made Man… And Then a Godly Man

God made man and then He made a Godly man.

What a gift for woman.

This man gave every breath in praise to the Father.

This man bowed on his knees to worship his Savior.

This man claimed Jesus as the son of God.

This man sacrificed his life to serve to witnessing to others.

So that they may share in the love of his Savior.

PRAISE GOD!!

 

Here was a man who loved his fellow man so much that

He did not want him to burn hell,

He even knelt in prayer for his enemies to ask his God

To please save them and lead them to love.

This man spent so much of his time indulging in the music of his Lord,

He was music to the heart himself.

It was hard for him not know every word to almost every song.

He was just as enthusiastic about his sword… his Bible…

The word of his Lord.

Compassion rang out from his lips, as mercy fell from his heart.

And as he met the searching halfway

He allowed his God to use him in leading the sheep home…

Out of the storm… just before the rapture.

GOD IS SO GRAND!!

 

God made man… the one we have all met

And fought with to save our souls.

And then he made a Godly man… the one we pray to meet

That he might tell us of how Jesus already died for us to save our souls.

And he tells us the man who lives to fight us

Will either be defeated or cleansed

So that God’s plan might be completed even in him.

Thank God for the Godly man

Who was created and lives in the image of God.

AMEN!

 

4-23-1998 Thursday

Written by Gail Brookshire

Making Love vs. Going to Hell

Love… marriage… do they really go together?

Can two people who love each other really make-love

If the love can send them to hell?

If two people want to make love beautiful together,

Why would that send them to hell?

Because it hurts God. It betrays God.

It defies everything God stands for

And leaves us separated from Him.

Does that matter? Of course it does.

Love may see you through the night,

But hell will hold your soul eternally.

One night of heated passion

Can lead to an ever burning fire

That your skin will feel forever.

When you think of what God has done for us,

And how simple it is to marry,

You cannot justify the sin.

God allows for people who love each other to make-love.

He just asks for them to be committed to each other for life.

After all, if they love each other

They will be together for life.

Making love and going to hell,

If you do it without God,

It is exactly where you’re headed.

 

2-9-1998 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Praise You for 100 Followers and Over 3,000 views on gaillovesgodspoetry!

Ok, God. It’s time to give YOU some more glory! It’s not about the numbers! You know anything You give me is all about You! What You bless this poetry blog with is all Yours!
According to WordPress, Damon Ashworth Psychology became the 100th Follower.
Bless him and his blog, Lord.
He had a pretty interesting sleep study (What Happens If You Go To Bed Too Early?) as his last post. Help him and his clients to have the restful sleep that only You can provide.
100 Follows!
Congratulations on getting 100 total follows on gaillovesgodspoetry!
Your current tally is 102.
WordPress also says there have been over 3,000 views now. You always amaze me that what You whisper in my ear, or that I talk with You about would be of any interest to anyone.  It’s You! They see You in anything they see good, or that You grab their attention with… because everything is about You… for me!
500 Posts
Congratulations on writing 500 posts
We have so many more poems to add on that You allowed me to write through the years. Right now we are on poems from 1998. Sometimes it is so hard to read something that was painful, or shameful, or sounding so insulting to You, instead of glorifying You. But I hear You, and I obey. This is a testimony for You. How can anyone know the wonderful things You have done for me, if they do not know where You brought me from. And more importantly, You remind me with more and more comments from others that there are others who are currently going through the same thing. They need to know You care, that You are with them, and that it is very possible to have a new life in You… no matter where You find us. So I trust even the unpleasant writings to You. It is a place that life once convinced me would never change. But then You spoke! ❤ You rescued! ❤ You saved! ❤ And I am more and more in love with You every day! ❤
So please keep pouring Your words through me because I have always been blessed to be the first one to read them. You minister to me to with the love You pour out on all of Your children! I want the whole world to know Gail Loves God! ❤
And they need to know… God loves you!
“My heart is inditing a good matter:
I speak of the things which I have made touching the king:
my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.”
– Psalm 45:1 KJV

Sharing Love Is Sharing God

Yes, I am a woman in love with a man.

But there is a man with whom I have been in love with for so long,

That I could never walk away.

No, He doesn’t say we could never be together.

Yes, even God allows and gives love.

But if I can’t even share love with a man,

How could I ever share God with him?

To love me is to want me,

To want to show me love,

To want to be there with me as much as possible,

Even if it’s just to look each other in the eye.

There should not be any problems with a woman

Wanting to trust a man she’s in love with.

But how can she show trust for a man she’s never allowed to be with?

Unless they are together, the man can never know her loyalty,

Her dedication, how faithful she is.

He can never see and appreciate the faithfulness she holds and defends

For a God she’s never seen.

He can never hold her and tell her how much he loves her,

And see that such a person is exactly what he wants.

And how can she accept him,

If she cannot even give anything of herself to him?

Love is a precious thing,

But it’s more fragile and priceless than one could ever know.

And if love can’t be shared between two people,

How could they ever share God?

After all, God is love.

 

1-25-1998 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Conversation with a friend asking me for advice on a relationship she was having with someone who would get upset if she showed up without calling, upset if she called without it being planned, and required every date (including hanging out at his house) to be preplanned (or more like scheduled in).

God Grants… And Then

God grants a heart

And then permits a love.

But before it’s allowed to be,

It must be given up.

God grants a wish

And then a kiss is given.

But before it can be remembered,

It must never be lived.

God grants a man

And then woman has companionship.

But before there can be intimacy,

They can not even taste a lip.

God grants wisdom

And then love as a sweet reward.

But before it can be a paradise,

It has to be utterly destroyed.

 

1-25-1998 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire

The Girl Who Loved to Play

Javonte is a nice little boy
Who lives so close to me.
I like to play with him
Because he is so fun to see.

Let’s take a vote to show
How much you like my friend.
Check yes if you like to play with him.
Check no if you want this to end.

✓❏YES     ❏END

I am so glad to see you like
My friend who makes me smile.
Let’s all go to my house
Where we can play for awhile.

12-31-1998 Thursday, New Year’s Eve
Written by Gail Brookshire and Javonte Sullivan
Javonte was my little neighbor who was the nephew of a long time dear friend since my teenage years. I knew him since he was very little (when his aunt adopted him on behalf of his mom). He loved that I wrote poetry, so I got him to write one with me to show him how easy and fun it is. He wrote the first line and I would write the next. He loved it! He had such fun! I loved watching him smile and being so happy with himself! I miss him!  ❤
I know you love him too, God! Protect him and his heart. His aunt gave every moment she could teaching him of your love, and to follow you no matter the cost!
Oh… and he chose the title! 😉

The Little Man of God Heaven Gave Me

My son, my beautiful, gorgeous son,

The little man of God which heaven gifted me with,

You are an angel to which I feel entrusted.

From conception you have been an answer to prayer.

How much I wanted you and for how long

Before you actually came along, you will never know.

Each morning that I awaken I thank God for you.

You put up with so much,

From school taking up my time,

To homework stealing ours,

And all the last minute cancellations.

You are so loving and understanding for a child so young.

You are wise and forgiving in the ways God allows for you to be.

You’ve been such a man at times when you’ve seen me experience heartbreak.

The little arms that have always comforted me,

Do so even now with such patient words.

God gives a lot of people children.

But I thank Him for sharing with me one of His most precious.

You carry the love of Christ in your heart.

 

12-25-1998 Friday, Christmas
Written by Gail Brookshire
For my 10 year old son Anthoni Brookshire
As his Christmas Poem for his present.