No Flowing Beauty <3

I am a heart full of love,
Drowning in a sea of loneliness.
No one swims within my waters,
Nor walks along my beaches.
I am so alone… and so lonely.
Never have I felt so unattached,
So incomplete,
So undernourished.
To be without love is like having not one drop
Of water left in my sands.
I have no flowing beauty.
The tides have battled my shores, profusely.
They’re all washed out.
Why must you pretend you want to wade within me?
Can you not see you only torture me?
You add more poison to my erosion.
Forever in longing.

11-5-1996 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Alone… With Jesus

Jesus, so many times I feel so alone.
But I know You’re always with me,
So why do I feel so alone?
Your love is all I need,
Yet I actually crave for companionship.
I’m secure with my future and where You stand in my heart (First!).
It’s just that desire that puts this horrible, lonely feeling in my heart
That disappoints me.
I want to be faithful to You,
Not just in body, as I finally have been and continue to be,
But in mind, spirit, and all ways humanly (with God’s strength) possible.
I want to be Yours all the way.
I don’t want to be a disappointment or discouragement to others
Who are watching me for the joy
In loving, serving, and being true to a heavenly God.
I want them to know how elated I feel and am,
Just knowing I have the privilege to feel Your presence,
And to so gracefully have been chosen
By a wonderful and mighty God,
To serve and love Him.
You are everything I need.
If You will help me (as I know You will be happy to),
I will do my best to always remember,
Not only are You with me,
But I am with You… someone who knows
What it feels like to be alone, inside and out,
While walking with God.
In Your name I pray. AMEN.
Your sister, friend, and companion.

6-29-1996 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

More Faith or Heart?

What are we supposed to do
When live in a world where no one is allowed to love?
What are we supposed to believe
When we hold our faith in the great God above?
Are we supposed to believe that we are exempt from passion…
Even if it’s in love and marriage?
Why are some of us destined to be alone…
Or rather unmarried?
I know we’re never alone,
But why are we sometimes so isolated that we feel deserted?
We should be able to focus our love and companionship on Jesus.
He was alone in companionship too/
And He was never married.
Yes He traveled and lodged with the disciples,
But that wasn’t 24 hours a day,
And it wasn’t every day of His life.
He even spent time alone with God in the wilderness.
Tempted by Satan in every way.
Yet He gloriously triumphed
And resisted the worldly treasures.
So why do we feel alone when Jesus is so with us
And knows exactly how we feel?
Could it be we need more faith?
Or more heart?

6-29-1996 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Cowboy Lance

Cowboy Lance was a good ole boy.
He took after his grandpappy and uncles when it came to being a man.
He got his manners from the women folk,
And you know his love for God did too.
His maw sure did love him from the day he was born.
He was the only baby I ever seen born on a horse,
With a gun in each hand.
If you ever run into him, you’d better be nice.
Cause he’ll zip right through ya.
But don’t you worry gals.
He’s still a heartbreaker.
Why he had a showdown with Billy the Kid himself,
On a’count Cowboy Lance stole his favorite gal.
Even married her.
But she died of smallpox.
The secret to Cowboy Lance’s heart is not a hard thing to find,
But he sure does like a whole lot of them,
So be sure to get a whole lot… Of sweet Roses!
So be sure to look for Cowboy Lance
Riding on his famous white horse.
His horse’s name is… Polliwog.
The End.

6-17-1996 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire
(Cowboy Lance’s Mom)
Inspiration: my son use to sit in the computer lab where I worked.
My boss loved teaching him how to use graphics (when GIFs just came out).
He and I wrote this together when he was 8 years old.

In a World of Their Own

Someone lies alone. Alone in a room, and in a world of their own.
Actually, it is the real world,
But it feels like everyone else does not seem to be aware of it.
There are so many who believe that the laws don’t apply the same to them…
The waiting in line, waiting a turn, or even simple rules of nature.
“What does it take to get their attention?” one questions within.
“They need so badly to wake up and smell the coffee, or rather the pollution.”
Life is not just a toy we can play with. Although, many do.
“Why is it so necessary to risk death to feel alive?”
These answers belong to others,
Yet most of us feel so compelled to worry for them.
They sure don’t contemplate the consequences themselves.
Whether they are taking chances of endangering others or not.
Being selfish is such a twentieth century characteristic.
But who really cares, right?

We’ve been preaching for so long that it doesn’t matter what others think of us,
That just because one person may think something is wrong doesn’t mean they’re right,
That what we believe as individuals is right if we see it to be so in our frame of mind,
Mostly because of the most important principle we teach…
Everyone has a right to be different and live the way they believe.
And when someone makes the point…
That just because an individual may see armed robbery as the only way to make a living,
Doesn’t mean that he should be allowed to do so,
The “freedom” fighters quickly retreat with “You’re taking it too far.”
We are suddenly using a childish tactic to gain popularity,
Or just to win an argument.
Where does it say that in order for an individual to have the right of religion,
Others should be made to shut up,
Or that schools should be forced to teach only one side of our history and life,
To avoid the conflicting side?

Can one not take on the complete job of parenthood,
And accept that it is their responsibility to teach a child on whatever he may question,
Without assuming that it is the world’s responsibility to know
That one prefers their child to be kept in the dark, isolated,
Or in control of others rights’ to freedom of speech to preserve their own?
Children do not grow to be a rumor that they hear,
Or develop on what they study alone.
It takes influence, smeone being involved, and sound teaching.
You can’t get any more involved than being a parent.
When one feels like they’re not involved enough with the fight,
Maybe they should make sure they are involved enough in the child’s life.
Most importantly, they could put more trust into their children
And into the teaching they give them.
Because in the end, that is what makes the difference…
What the children choose to do with the teachings you give them.
THE CHILDREN will make that decision alone!

5-16-1996 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. I wrote this so long ago, do not ask me what I was saying,
Nor who I was speaking to. Naturally, I would know even less now.

Lead Me Closer to You

You and I alone share my thoughts,
My problems,
My wishes,
My dreams,
And even my regrets.

How do we get me past falling back on the past?
How do we erase that comforting feeling that
My non-Christian friends gave me in beautiful friendship,
And replace it with the comfort of walking in Your love,
And serving You?

I know they gave me an undying love,
But Jesus Christ died to give me love and my life.
Every waking day and night I want my thoughts,
My dreams,
My breath,
To be with and for the love of GOD.

Jesus gave me so much and I have yet to give Him anything.
My non-Christian friends need Your love too, I know.
For them You also died.
But, dear Lord, You know how little influence I have on them,
Yet how very influential they are on me.

How can I walk a path with You, my Father,
If I keep running down those same old dead ends
Just to visit my friends?
They keep playing so close to the edge…
The “dead end.”
If I’m not careful,
Holding their hand through life is going to condemn mine,
And I’ll go right over the edge with them.
My soul will be in jeopardy.

Oh, Lord,
Please show me courage,
And wisdom,
And comfort,
And the path You wish for me to take.

Let the Holy Spirit be my teacher,
My guide,
My mentor,
My knowledge.
Lead me closer to You.
“Let me walk, dear Lord, close to Thee.”

Every waking night and day
Fill me with Your Holy Word, hidden in my heart,
And on my tongue with Your glory and praise.
Let me shine a light in my life that will signify to others
That You are my Light,
And my joy.
I love You always.
Your loving daughter.

1-30-1996 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Every Waking Night and Day

Every waking night and day,
In my closet I go to pray.
I do not ask for much.
The Lord’s prayer is not as such.

Every waking night and day,
I hear what He has to say.
You wonder how I heard?
Why, of course, in His Word.

Every waking night and day,
I clean and go to play,
But only after chores are done,
Before the falling of the sun.

Every waking night and day,
I have a secret place we stay.
I sing. He hears. PRAISE!
All my fears and doubts erase.

Every waking night and day,
I go upon my bed and lay.
My visions will forever keep,
As I trust in Love and sleep.

1-30-1996 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Forever Loving You, my Sweet Jesus!

Loneliness of a Christian Girl

Love is strong, and passion so powerful.
How does a Christian girl survive?
I know, I know. With God’s loving hand,
But even God knows my heart.

How I yearn and desire,
And feel my soul on fire.
Yes my faith is strong,
And my courage still standing.
I just don’t think my heart is as understanding.

I love God with all my might,
Still my human desires fight.
All I want is a kiss or two,
Or maybe even to say, “I love you.”
But I’m so easily influenced,
And my weaknesses are many.
How can I set so close
Without committing sin with any?

Oh Christian moon
Of God’s green earth,
How dare you tease
A Christian girl.
I see your rays.
I feel your glow.
Your heavenly stars
I intimately know

I long to love
Another soul
And feel his arms
Warmly hold.
His gentle touch.
His sexy voice.
To be his wife.
To be his choice.
To be the love
Of just one man
And share a life
Hand in hand

What wishes could bring.
What wishes could do.
Why won’t God grant me
One or two?
Yes, I know my Jesus has
Blessed me greatly.
I’m just a Christian girl
Feeling loneliness lately.

I thank You, my Lord,
For all You have done.
Help me to find comfort
In the love of Your Son.
For no other man
Could give me as much.
His dying love
Surpasses any touch.

1-17-1996 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire