Leaving 1993, Heading Into 1994

As I’ve come to the last of 1993 poetry and going into 1994, I’m relieved to be getting away from what was so dark. Yes, unfortunately there are still more as I’ve been looking ahead, but not only do they lessen with how many, they also begin to be me falling more and more in love with Christ, my Lord and Savior, the Love of my Life! ❤ I am so excited and ready for those! It felt good just to smile over looking at them! ❤
Thank you so much for all of your comments as I have been getting the older ones up. God has used you to help me learn from them yet again, to grow even more, and to be comforted by friends all over the world. I had literally grown so afraid of them through the years. I came so close to tearing them up or deleting as I had posted. How grateful I am that He led me to an opportunity to tear up several of them in 2004. Between 1989 and 2000 I wrote at least 300 a year, but as I look at the numbers under the Categories, I realize I tore up hundreds, but trust me… THAT was a good thing. That is a part of my testimony too!

God does amazing things! The most amazing one being to love us… unconditionally… nonstop… no matter what! He can get you through the darkest times, and ease the deepest pains. I know He has been my God Through All of It. ❤ (Thank you for introducing me to this song, brother Stu!)
God is my hero! He loves me! And He loves you! I know it may seem so hard, and there may be things that no one else but God can understand with what you are going through… but He CAN get you through it because He DOES understand!
I am praying for each of you!

Opinions Are Not a Fault

Someone once said,
So I once did.
Why pretend?
It can’t be hid.

It’s only a trick
To which you know.
As soon as I learn it
You’ll go.

So why agree
On something so false.
Having an opinion
Is not a fault.

We are all different,
Special and unique.
Thinking for ourselves
Shouldn’t make us a freak.

Working as a team,
That’s living together.
The more we share,
We’ll last forever.

12-4-1993
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: For all of us and God.

I Never Knew Her

No one ever knew her like I did,
But I never knew her at all.
She was something so easy to read,
Yet so hard to figure at all.

What was it that I saw in her?
I’m not quite sure of that reason.
But my love for her kept living,
As the seeds through every season.

We’ve all a mark or two in past
That shame us of our being.
But what we do to carry on
Is the point we should be seeing.

My love for her was all she had,
And yet I let her down.
She had no other choice
Than to leave without a sound.

Where she’s going and what she’s doing,
I think I’ll never know.
For though I really loved her so,
I knew nothing of the woman you know.

11-29-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Getting to know one’s self
is like never knowing yourself at all

LOSING HEART

In the freshest part of life, a tragedy strikes a friend.
He’s told he has a problem that could bring his life to an end.
It’s a tragedy that can kill his family, as well as his friends.
But it’ll take a miracle of God to make it all the same again.
And the agony inside such a strong young man
Is challenged alone by God’s own hand.
The fear in his heart and the pain in his soul,
Will he survive what is left untold?
We just have to wait and pray to our God
That he’s needed more here than he is with God.
Whatever it turns out to be, we need to keep in mind
That whatever God chooses, He has us all in mind.
So don’t get disheartened, remember to have faith.
It may just be that this is a test of faith.

11-17-1993 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: For a friend in his young 20s.
He developed a fatal heart defect.
They did 2 different surgeries and praise God,
he has been just fine all of these years!

We Struggle In A World

We struggle in a world where children are dying to survive,
And there’s nothing we can do to keep them alive.
We sell their bodies and dope their brains.
We give them homes that drive them insane.
We clean out the alleys to service the rich,
To later leave bodies lying in a ditch.
We cancel the love to give the greed,
Caring not who hurts or if children bleed.
It’s sick. It’s insane. It’s way out of hand.
It’s something disgusting. I don’t understand.
Why are we here, if we’re only abusing?
Do you seriously believe this life is amusing?
I just can’t get it. I guess I never will.
Excuse me for living, I guess I tend to feel.

10-3-1993
Written by Gail Brookshire

Tired of Being Forgotten

Frustrated, am I supposed to be or not?
I don’t know if I wanna be mad,
Or if I should be,
Or if I should just break down and cry.
Certainly NOT!
I shall never cry over something as simple
As being forgotten.
I know it’s not so simple,
And I know it’s ok to cry,
But if I do I’ll give up
All my strength I have left to fight with.
People…
They don’t care what I’m going through.
They only care about themselves.
They have no thought of someone else,
Unless it is to their benefit.
But that’s ok.
I’m too caught up in my own worries
To be of any help to them.
So I guess we understand each other,
Or at least I wish we did.
Maybe then they wouldn’t forget me.

9-27-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Feeling so unloved! Boo hoo hoo!
Awww! Poor little girl. Got forgotten and now she’s crying.
GROW UP!! No one ever asked for you to be put here,
So don’t go expecting things like acknowledgment of your existence!
PS.. The first part of this inspiration was how I used to talk to myself a lot,
And sometimes still get tempted to,
But God has taught me how to better love myself and others,
Because it’s all about loving Him, and loving others through and for Him.

Friendship Shouldn’t Be Hard to Enjoy

Friendship, should it be so hard? I think not.
It should be of love and sharing all you’ve got.
It shouldn’t be “I must change for you,”
Or “Let’s do things your way.”
It should just be “Let’s do it.”
Together or not. Winning or losing.
If two people are different or have different opinions
That are of different values, that’s life.
It’s just two people saying we think differently on occasions,
Just as we think alike on many more.
Don’t hate me because I’m different.
Just understand that I am not the same as you.
I am not you.
I was not meant to be like you,
And I can never be like you
Because I am me.
My own individual.
So I must be myself.
After all, I am a very special person
And should not cheat myself of my unique personality,
Just as you are a very special person
And should never refrain yourself from knowing you.
In return you should never try to force me to be like you,
Or hate me for not wanting to be you,
Whereas I should never push my morals and way of believing on you,
And hate you for not living the way I choose.
Friends are a relationship.
Something we should have to work hard on,
But should never be so hard to enjoy.

9-26-1993 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Chained to a Wall of Love

Chained to a wall of love,
I fall for who you are.
You wish for someone to love you,
And yet I’m not that far.

It’s one of those mystical things
That God has rearranged.
He said He would always love us,
But never promised that life wouldn’t change.

Tangled by a web of thought,
You wash away my dream.
You say you are for all to watch,
Yet are darker than you seem.

One way I have to comfort you
Is to let you know for sure
That though our love’s a misery,
My intentions are only pure.

Could we stand another round
Of all the innocent pain?
I just don’t think I believe again
In the path to going insane.

8-24-1993 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

What Did God Want?

What did God want?
Did He want for us to lie?
Did He want for us to cheat?
He never asked for anything,
Yet never faced defeat.
He’s so amazing!!
How could He have been so great,
So grand, so miraculous,
When all He did was wait?
Is this what He means by saying
Patience is a virtue?
Maybe it is.
What a beautiful way of understanding!
What a wonderful way to be loved.
Thank You, God!!
I love you too!!

8-16-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

With All Our Hearts

The following is an article I wrote while on a local social services program (J.O.B.S.) designed to help single moms (and dads) with children to go back to school either for their G.E.D. or to college to work toward a degree that would allow them to support their families, and no longer need government funds for groceries, rent, etc. I wrote the article as a college student and as the Associate Editor with the campus paper… Expressions. This article was written for the July 28, 1993 issue. Our Editor was also a client of the J.O.B.S. program, and added her note below. I do not know what cut her article off, but it was printed as it looks below. The article was also printed in the J.O.B.S. Newsletter.

With All Our Hearts
Written by Gail Brookshire

I would like to take this opportunity to give a much deserved and needed “Thank You!” This thank you goes to everyone involved with the J.O.B.S. program, for all their support financially, scholastically, and mentally. The J.O.B.S. program is a miracle in disguise and everyone working with them are angels in disguise. They keep up with my attendance and see that I am doing well, not to scold me or hound me, but to see that I am doing well. If there is a problem, they can see it early enough to help me through it and fix it, instead of convicting me of a crime and giving up on me. Why? Because J.O.B.S. cares.
Bill Rollinger is my worker and has been great. He keeps track of my attendance, grades, and basically how I am getting along. He repeatedly tells me, if I have a problem just to let him know. He asks me and other clients to call just to say “hello.” When I have had problems, I did so, and received help with a warm smile. Another wonderful thing is the staff involved are always working together as a team. Whenever Bill is not in, I can ask Diane, Dale, or any of the others, whatever it is I need to know or do, and they are more than happy to help.
Best of all the most rewarding thing is the friends I find in the other clients. As we pass each other on campus or at the “house” (Magnolia Building), we ask how we’re doing and if we need help. We often pass on helpful hints to one another. We love studying together and we take it seriously, and certainly, we are always mentioning how grateful we all are to J.O.B.S. for helping us with our school funds, child care, transportation, study needs, and our psychological needs as well. I am sure everyone on the J.O.B.S. program would like to say “thank you” to Bill, Heidi, Diane, and everyone else who works so hard for us. When we are all successful in our prospective careers, we will owe a big debt of gratitude to you.

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR…
I would like to take this opportunity to also express my Thanks to those fine folks who are the J.O.B.S. program. These people work really hard, with little or no recognition, and put up with a lot of garbage, all in the effort to help us help ourselves build a future for ourselves as well as our children. Alan McCracken is my case worker, and I consider him to be my friend. It is like they take you in as one of the family. I have said many times that even with all my grants and scholarships, without J.O.B.S. there is no way I would ever be able to afford to go to school. They are a constant source of information and support. Our hats are off to everyone who works for the program, and to…

Cassandra Jamerson, Editor
P.S. I would like to thank Glenda Anderson, Donna, Marion, and Ramona for the wonderful job they do in the Financial Aid Office. They work hard to enable a lot of us to be able to attend AB-Tech. My deepest gratitude to all those mentioned in this article.

I will be doing a blog regarding this J.O.B.S. program that God used to change my life on my gaillovesgod blog and will link it here. If you do not see it soon, please remind me in case I forgot to link it. 😉

God is a Wonderful Person

God is a wonderful person
Who knows how to love me.
No matter what I do wrong,
He can still put up with me.
He knows what I want.
He knows what I need.
And He knows it has nothing
To do with greed.
He’s very patient and loving,
Kind, and understanding.
He’s never too forceful,
Nor too demanding.
I wish I could do for Him
What He’s done for me,
But there will never be a way
To give back the generosity.
Oh, woe to the love of the God
By which I am known.
He’ll never abandon me,
Or leave me alone.
Praise GOD!
Love Him or not,
He is the One.
Love God’s Son.

7-7-1993 Wednesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Oh Silly Me

You don’t want me.
You used to be in love with me,
But you no longer are.

You said you cared forever
And would never be
Too far.

But where are you now
When I need to be
In your arms?

Giving away our love
By impressing with
Your charms.

Oh, silly me
For loving you
Knowing you never would.

I can’t believe
I love you
When I never thought I could.

7-5-1993 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Friendship? – What’s That?

Friendship? – What’s that?
Is that what you were laughing at?
You could’ve fooled me with that
Wicked smile.
I thought you were going to
Play awhile.
You sure are slow
At letting me in,
But I guess that’s the only way
You can win.
Which is more important?
The victory or me?
Oh, it’s the thrill
Of being set free?
Well no problem.
You can walk away.
Just don’t come crying
On a lonely day.

7-5-1993
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: A person who was known to be a good friend to me was trying to set my brother up to be jumped and beaten for being gay, trying to impress her boyfriend and his friends, and tried to trick me to make it happen, all the while smiling like she was my friend. They were trying to do this on my birthday, trying to take advantage of it for a distraction. I ended our friendship right there. Weeks later on her birthday she came crying, trying to get me to restore our friendship as “best friends.” She was even using my brother, crying about missing me, and it being her birthday. It did not work.