A Message to You All

They say it’s coming, that it’s on its way.
Yet they keep laughing, as if it’s a game to play.
Will we really feel it? Will it really happen?
Does it mean anything to anyone? Doesn’t it even matter?
I just can’t comprehend the joy in something of disaster.
And if it happens, will they still be laughing after?
It frightens me to think it’s possible that it could really be.
And if it really does take place, I wonder what will happen to me.
Please, people, pray that it won’t. That it’s just a mistake.
I don’t want to see it. I’m scared of an earthquake.

12-3-1990 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Unknowingly Sinful

Help, I’m walking away from God.
I need to turn back to the love I’ve forgot.
Please don’t let me lose my soul.
He’s the only one who cares, and the one to make me whole.
Help, God is coming back.
And when He’s gathering His children, I won’t be in the pack.
Please don’t let God overlook me. Don’t let Him turn away.
I have so much to confess, so much has gone astray.
God is all I’ve ever wanted, yet I’ve walked away.
Please don’t let me burn in hell, or lose on judgment day.
God, I’m sure, is upset with me knowing all I’ve done.
And no one else can take the blame, I am the guilty one.
Shameful and disgraceful too, the sins that I commit.
I need to kneel upon my knees and make myself admit.
There is no use denying it. The wrong is of my own.
I should’ve never walked away, but I had to run alone.
And now I’m running back to Him, asking for forgiveness.
Am I really worthy of it, His mercy and tenderness?
Oh won’t you help me talk to Him, or at least direct the way?
I want to be of God again and live the Godly way.

12-2-1990 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Thank You, God, for showing that I could never lose Your love.
Your mercies are new every morning, and endureth forever!
God is my hero.

Tastefully Disgraceful

I must lay to rest my writing,
At least just for awhile.
For I have lost my way.
I’m lost within the smile.
Friends and loved ones are concerned
About my farewell now.
And I’m most glad they’re noticing
The troubles I found somehow.
For morals are of a Godly world,
And that is what I’m after.
But with every tempting flaw,
I surrender to disaster.
May I please ask of you,
Of anyone with whom I grew,
Would you please remind me more
Of the things I shouldn’t do.
Growing up and growing wise
Is hard to categorize.
For just when you think you’ve learned the truth,
You’ve fallen for the lies.
I need to find a way to be myself,
And still believe in God.
For the more I try to impress,
The more I have forgot.

12-2-1990 Sunday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Boy did I still have so much learning to do.
But at least I can see I was trying.
Thank You, God, for leading and teaching me.
God is my hero.

Why Me?

You say You’re in love with me,
Even though I’ve sinned.
I don’t understand it.
Why do I always win?
You are the victory.
The one who pays the price.
So why is it always right for me
To make the sacrifice?
You give Your hand to me
To walk me through my fears,
Then allow me to turn away
And cause You shameful tears.
Why are you so proud of me
If I disgrace Your name?
I just don’t understand it.
It fills me full of shame.
Of all the souls who love You
And follow by Your laws,
You still choose to love me so,
Despite all my sinful flaws.

11-29-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. I thank God for loving me faithfully and unconditionally.
He doesn’t love my sinful flaws, but He loves me despite them,
He does love the flaws I cannot control that are not sinful,
But He knows the difference better than anyone!
God is my hero!

War and Peace

The difference between war and peace
Is one will cause you pain,
While the other one can save the world
And give so much to gain.
The similarity found in war and peace
Is they both can be of value.
While for one they both save lives,
They also destroy too.
When it comes to war and peace,
I don’t know what to say,
For they both kill our loved ones,
Yet again save our day.
War and peace is like love and pain,
To truly have the best
You must have reason to appreciate,
To feel you’ve passed the test.

11-29-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. A friend asked me to write on War and Peace. He chuckled when he read this because he didn’t know I never heard of the book War and Peace. And no, I still haven’t read it.

The False Forecast

I’m trying to find the right words
To win your heart and gloat.
But I can’t think of anything
That I haven’t made a quote.
I feel I’ve said it all before,
And that it’s all the same.
But also feel so worthless.
I’ve only gained guilt and shame.
No words ever won your heart,
Nor brought you to my world.
No words ever made you want
The yearnings in this girl.
Nothing ever made you come to me
And say I understand.
No words ever made you realize
I just wanted to hold your hand.
So if I can’t get through to you
And bring you peace and joy,
Then why should I write again?
I do not want to annoy.

11-28-1990
Written by Gail Brookshire

(10) Ten Years

For so long… he wanted me.
For so long… he watched.
For so long… he followed.
And never once got lost.
Every breath I took,
He knew how deep I inhaled.
Every wink I made,
He knew the length in detail.
So many times… he dreamt of me.
So many times… he called.
But never once left his name,
Or even spoke after all.
Instead he waited for a night,
And followed me all the way home.
He let me go on in
To make sure that I was alone.
And instead of making me comfortable,
He only brought me tears.
And for what he had taken from me,
He only got 10 years.

11-29-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
God is my hero

Rustic Retreat

All my life I’ve written letters
To friends and loved ones too.
And no one ever understood
What it meant to say, “I love you.”
Sure there were those who said,
“Oh, that’s really nice,”
But rewarded me with abandonment.
With every word was a price.
How could they misunderstand
The difference between love and pain?
When I said I hope we’ll last,
I didn’t mean through the rain.
And all of those who fought with me
Said they accepted my apology,
But still walked away to think
And never returned to me.
So far away, so many souls,
And no one wants to write.
Though I’ve sent so many letters,
The words I say aren’t right.
So now I think I will protest
And stop this self expressing.
It’s like loving some who doesn’t love you,
And really becomes depressing.
So to those of you I’ve written letters,
There are other things in life that are better.

11-23-1990 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Boy was I whiny when I was younger.No one around me was into writing, which was probably how I got away with putting such personal things into my poetry and no one ever getting it. 😉 I will give you a piece of advice though, if you long to have someone write you a note. Send someone else a card or a note… for a birthday, an anniversary, a graduation, an engagement, a wedding, away from home at college, or just because. Write them with no expectation of a response or anything in return! So many people want the same gesture of friendship or a simple note from someone like you do… especially one that is a delightful surprise. When God had me doing a writing ministry where I did the same thing, I assure you that while I had no clue it would mean so much, it was an absolute blessing to receive notes and card in return that let me know how it blessed them! Nothing is better than sharing God’s love… and feeling it come right back at you! God is so amazing!

Fear or Faith

O.K. So I’m writing. Big Deal.
I happen to be scared.
The big day is coming. It’s on its way.
And I have to make sure I’m there.
I know it’s all a frightening thing,
But I need to go ahead and face it.
There’s only one way to survive it.
God’s hand. Nothing can ever replace it.
I don’t know what I want to say.
I only know I’m scared.
And though I want to talk about it,
I’d rather just have a hug to share.

11-23-1990 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. It’s amazing how God continues to bring up my old poetry at times that are so similar to things I am going through or talking about now. At the same time. praise His Holy name, many things are so different. But if you do not pay attention to the year I wrote them, you could easily think there is something to worry about. I see why different friends address concerns about things they are reading. Please don’t worry. God has been so good to me. He has brought me through many dark pits, and I know I struggle with that darkness at times, but I am NO WHERE NEAR where I used to be. Thank you for caring about me.
God is my hero!! And He loves you too! ❤

I Resign

To my present state, I have to walk away.
I cannot portray an artist where there are none left today.
If all my writings were so great and really helped in relating,
Then I would have my friends and lovers, but instead I’m always waiting.
Nothing’s ever came of them, they never made my point.
I’ve still lost the love I had though I tried with a poem.
And though I made a mistake to love, I never really understood the lines
That I not only cared for them, but that without them I would fall behind,
And arguments that came between the lines we have shared,
Were times I tried to apologize, but never found they cared.
So if they really loved my writing and said I was expressing myself,
Why didn’t it ever mean anything? It never really helped.
So what’s the point of going on and writing as though I’m best?
It never stopped them from leaving. Instead I failed the test.
So to you all I must protest to the accusation
That I am such a perfect writer when it’s all imagination.
It never made you really believe that I ever really tried
To give you everything I have. I hated that you’ve cried.
So if I can’t express myself, or at least make you believe,
I resign from writing at all. The profession I now leave.

11-21-1990 Thursday, Thanksgiving Day
Written by Gail Brookshire

Why Am I A Writer?

Words are what I use to write
A poem or two each day.
And a lot of people love them.
They say with words I have a way.
Well I’m beginning to think it’s all a wish
And that I should give it up.
Because nothing I’ve written you
Has won your dying love.
All I ever wanted from you
Was just to let me care.
But you would rather walk away,
Making it hard to be there.
No words have brought you back,
Or made you turn your head.
No words have made you listen
To whatever it was I said.
No words made you really believe
That I would live my life
Simply keeping you happy
If only I were your wife.
So why am I a writer still
If I know you won’t even read
The words that are all I feel,
Causing my heart to bleed.

11-20-1990 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Don’t Make a Move Without God

It’s coming… the end is drawing near.
God is coming for us. The signs are all so clear.
Fighting in countries here and there, children starving hard.
He promised us He would return to take us home to rejoice.
And only He would know the time. It would only be His choice.
But the way the world is going, we shouldn’t take the chance.
God is coming to take us home. He’s holding out His hand.
Repent to Him, confess your sins, and know you’re on your way.
Don’t make a move without God, for the return could be today.

11-17-1990 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Like the Late Greats

Words written by the greats
Are the ones I long to write.
Most of them are now the lates,
But I meet them in the night.
My favorite one is Elizabeth,
She wrote “How Do I Love Thee.”
Wouldn’t you love to hear it read
As you rest beneath the tree?
And Edgar Allan Poe was great,
Although some find him depressing.
And last of all, but not at all least,
Shakespeare was the best.
He had a thought for everyone.
His life was not a test.
How I long to write like them
And leave the world my mark.
Simply to share the art of words
That come from within my heart.

11-15-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire
PS. Wow. And here I thought I never had any favorites. 😉
Now I just want to write for God. He can do whatever He wants with it!

Sharing

Spoiling my friends,
It’s something I love to do.
I mean no harm or offense.
My motive, I assure you, is true.
I am not trying to get on anyone’s good side.
It’s just my way of expressing
A caring I just can’t hide.
If in the future we are apart,
Like many friends who’ve left,
I hope you’ll remember me by the things I give of myself.
I’m afraid there will be many times and many friends
I won’t have the money or opportunity
To have anything to send.
For all of those I give something,
Please accept and keep.
And sincerely for those I forget or miss,
The regret is running deep.

10-29-1990 Monday
Written by Gail Brookshire

Music Moves Me

Sad again, to think of one
Who’s broken my fragile heart.
I hear a favorite song of mine,
I’m into my favorite part.
Blue again, to remember friends
Who have came and left me alone.
I hear the bass pumping hard,
And nothing could go wrong.
Too excited from a joke,
I need to catch my breath.
A heart bleeding song plays,
And feels as though my death.
The world I know and live in
Is one to keep you moody.
But the music we have to hear
Keeps thing really groovy.
So try to understand why
The radio takes my mind.
I’d rather be caught up in music
Then let the world leave me behind.

10-25-1990 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire