Dear God…
This is going to be an unusual request or prayer on my part,
But I come to You with deepest sincerity and Godly truth
When I ask You to keep me from becoming anyone’s wife
If I am only going to be their path to pain or hell.

Marriage has been something I was always afraid of and cared nothing for until You placed the desire in me to honor You with such trust.
You showed me it was a gift for two people living with and for God…
Together and individually.
What a witness and example of love and dedication…
Purity and forgiveness…
And so much more.

But God… You have shown me along the way
How much the other person can be hurt and loved too, by me…
Even when I am close to You and walking a Christlike path.
There are far too many cliches and ideas about how men treat women wrong,
About Christians being the Saints of relationships,
And that when people are hurt, one is to blame more than the other.
I do not want to live like that.

Recently, I have had so much resentment and bitterness toward life…
And those who have placed pain in mine.
But it gives me no right to think I can take it out on others.
Especially those I love.
There is only so much love and forgiveness one can give when they are not God.
And I have no right to ask for any.

I do not want to give up on love, me, You,
Or the idea that a man and I can serve You and glorify You in Holy Unity.
If two people in love with God and each other can help make the world a better place,
Or give more to what God can do… Your will be done.
But if my behavior and moments of lacking faith can hinder a man
And actually bring him down,
And allow me to come between You and he…
Please, spare us both from the tragedy.

A woman who cannot give support in all matters, more importantly spiritual matters,
Is not a woman that God has created for man…
And therefore and cannot be the helper God allows women to be as a wife.
Yes, men do have their roles,
But whether this world wants to admit it or not, appreciate it or not,
Women are just as responsible for being support for their husbands,
As husbands are responsible for being support for their wives.
It is a partnership in all matters.

God, I trust You and know that You can use me in anyway You see.
If it is to love and support a man that You have me set aside for,
Keep me clean, faithful, spiritual, strong, and Holy for Him,
That I better serve You both.
Let Him be able to see that there is still within me a woman of God
Who wants nothing more for her husband than a beautiful relationship with Christ…
For Him and His children…
And family and friends.
I do not know who this man is, or if he even exists, for I do not know Your will.
But I pray, Dear Lord, that You will keep me patient and obedient in waiting.
I know that You will send this leader of my home and family in clarity,
If it is to be.

If I am not to be with anyone, I do not feel You have failed me,
Nor that I have failed You or any man.
I know that it is simply Your looking after us all…
Me, the man, and the many people You will touch and bless with my singleness.
I know that singleness is just as much a gift from God as a marriage.
And my greatest desire is to serve You and give back to You
(Not in payment but with love)
As much as You have given me.
Giving a man faith to live by and witness in a Christian wife or a Christian lady
Is far greater a treasure than any form of human love a woman could possibly offer.
Christ is that untouchable, as well as that supreme in matters of the heart.

Thank You for hearing my prayer (my wish upon Your star),
And the comfort of knowing You have heard and have answered.
Be it my wedding day or judgment day that You share the answer,
I will always be thankful to You for looking after me and the man I love,
As well as the world we minister to.
In Jesus Sweet and Beautiful Name I pray… Amen.

5-28-1999 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire