Finally… I have learned why God has placed such value on purity,
And such strong warning on fornication…
At least that’s what I always say right after I have allowed myself to be hurt again.
God shows me again and again how a person cannot possibly love me
Unless they make me a part of their life forever,
Vow to all their loved ones and mine… dedication,
And give to me (not just promise) a lifetime commitment
Before they even lay a hand on me.
That is the only way to awaken the next morning with no guilt,
No shame, and no fear of my love leaving the next day.

It does not mean there will be no fighting, no arguing,
No totally frustrating and “I hate you and never want to see you again” moments.
It just means that if you have these moments,
You have a true commitment to try as hard as you can
To make it last, work it out, and support one another.
You don’t talk about who has hurt who,
Try to figure a way out,
Or feel cheap for giving yourself so intimately.
You know the person beside you will still be home tonight to lay down beside you,
And hopefully make amends of whatever trouble there may be,
And if not, you know they will still be there.

Intimacy is a treasure between two people who know
Their lovemaking has nothing to do with why they are together,
Why they stick together,
And pledge their friendship and marriage.
It is something they know they honor their God with,
And create life in their children.
It is something that could never be used as a weapon,
And never cheapened to a short event of life,
To only be associated with pain and heartache.
It is not something to compare from one lover to another,
And is not something to steal from people you love.
I am not innocent in my pledge to love being only for the married.
I am not innocent of honoring others in their right to be loved forever,
But I can say that I have never found pleasure in exchanging pleasure for pain.

The more I hurt myself, the more God shows me truth.
Patience is more of a virtue than even I can understand.
And even if I never find a man who will follow through
With his word of love…
His pledge of marital wishes…
And be the first man in my life to give God His just deserves
In marrying a woman God honored them with…
Before defiling her, and make leaving such a justifiable excuse.
I will always have the amazement of God’s love…
The love of a man who has never touched me anywhere but my heart…
Who has asked nothing of me, except to love Him, myself, and people,
And has taken nothing from me, but all the pain and hurt that has been given me,
As well as my place in hell, by the grace of His merciful and forgiving heart.

Intimacy… it’s a love of purity and commitment…
A pledge to stick together forever…no matter what…
Even if it means from time to time
You have to endure the unpleasant…
And be a little forgiving…
Maybe even continuously forgiving.
Intimacy… it’s a Godly thing.

5-27-1999 Thursday
Written by Gail Brookshire