My God, I owe you so much.
I’m dying and I can’t get up.
My fantasies have been my sin.
My transgressions were just giving in.
You have my heart, but I continue to disgrace my body.
You give me so much life, yet I keep risking my death.
You love me with everything I have and am,
And yet it’s your love that needs my attention.
Help me, God.
Am I too far gone,
To be worthy of love,
Of Your love,
Of forgiveness?
Am I so bad off that I could never know
Of simplicity in love?
Could I never have a chance for
Heaven and eternal life?
Could I be doomed?
NO!!
I love God and have faith in Him
And the words He promised me,
When He said He would love me forever,
For all that I am,
And that He would be merciful
And forgive me of my sins.
No, I’m not saying I expect His forgiveness,
Nor that I committed these things knowing
That I would be Undoubtedly forgiven.
I was just stupid, done them, and hated myself
Every step of the way.
God, I love You for life.
Over all guys, friends, family, material things, and any pleasures.
You are my only satisfaction!

6-9-1992 Tuesday
Written by Gail Brookshire