**Please note that this was written in 1989, when I was just barely 20 years old. The Lord has brought me a long way. While I can still be cynical and a lot of this still holds true, I do not have lovers or think so negatively of the world. Praise His Holy name for allowing His love to flow through my life and mind. May even these words be used according to His will for someone who IS there now.**


it’s not a nice word, but it is the description of the world’s main priority. All they care about is getting what they want. And no matter what it takes, they will use and abuse, anyone and anything, in any way. It’s really simple to understand. It’s just hard to accept it and deal with it. It’s so very hard to live a life you could never approve of. A life that you could never come to terms with. Or simply consider as living.

How can you be happy conning someone? Wouldn’t it get lonely? Wouldn’t it get confusing? Wouldn’t you get hurt? I certainly do not find anything about lying to the one who trusts you, nor deceiving one who cares so deeply for you, acceptable. Nor do I find it comforting to betray the one who loved you with all their heart. Would you really want to lose someone who cares that much? Would you really want to do that to them? How could you close your eyes at night? How could you possibly be happy? Wouldn’t it become painful to know you’ve lost their trust, or lost their concern, or better yet their love?

I would be devastated. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m already so confused and destroyed from all those who have claimed to be my friends, when all along they were only there to aid my lovers in hurting me. I just can’t see how they enjoy themselves. And I certainly don’t agree with those who actually believe in love. Love is a lie. One error the world has yet to correct. For how can they believe they love, if love is meaningless? It would do no good to say, “I love you.” For they would simply laugh and say, “I’m sure you do.” Knowing they could care less, or they would let it go to their head.

Well, I guess I’ll just finish up with one last opinion. If the world is going to keep deception alive, and continue their lies, the abuse, and the hurting, and I don’t believe they will gain anything by using someone’s love for them, should I wish them luck? Or should I simply sit back and watch them slowly destroy themselves?

8-13-89 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

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